


Happy Holidays

by tinyfierceandsassy



Category: The Mindy Project
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-01-19 06:32:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1459489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyfierceandsassy/pseuds/tinyfierceandsassy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Series of one-shots of various Dandy moments! Some are established Dandy, some are friendships, it covers the whole spectrum.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Established Dandy Valentine's Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm transferring all my work over from ff.net, so here's the first chapter of my Happy Holidays collection! The Sweetest Thing, which I've posted before, also belongs to this collection.

Mindy was staring out her office window when she felt two hands cover her eyes. Before someone could finish saying "Happy Valentine's Day Bab-", Mindy had shot up and shoved the chair back into her attacker, jabbing them with her elbow.

"OW!" A familiar voice cried. Mindy turned around slowly. Danny glared at her, hunched over in pain and grimacing.

"Danny! I'm sorry! You surprised me! I've been watching Jillian Michael's Self Defense videos, it was just a reflex-"

"Don't worry about it." Danny wheezed, falling into the weapon-chair. "That's the last time I try to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day." He smirked. Mindy smiled, climbing onto his lap. He wheezed again, but held on tight.

"Thanks babe. Happy Valentine's Day to you too." She leaned in to peck him on the lips, teasing. Danny's brow furrowed, chasing her as he tried to get another. He had just captured her chin when-

"Ahem. Excuse me, disgusting lovebirds." Jeremy stood in the doorway. Neither Mindy nor Danny made an effort to move. "If you're done canoodling, there are patients to be seen. Not all of us have the pleasure of living off love," he noted with a bitter tone. He walked away, knowing he would have no effect on the couple.

"We should really get to work," Danny looked up at Mindy, rubbing her arm. She nodded.

"I have a C-section schedule in a couple hours," she agreed. "That baby is gonna be so lucky! Born on Valentine's Day! I bet her life will be full of romance," She said dreamily. "Well, wait. That means she gets all her bday and vday presents and on the same day. Hmmm. Hard trade off." Mindy shrugged, extricating herself from Danny's lap. She leaned down and gave him one last kiss. "What time should I come over tonight?" She asked, picking up her file.

"Seven should be fine. I know how much prep time you need," Danny smirked. Mindy smiled, appreciative.

"Thanks babe. I'll see you at 8!" She called as she flew out the door.

"7! I said 7!" Danny called after her, shaking his head. He got up, ready to finish the workday and move on to his master plan.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Mindy knocked on the door expectantly. Danny had refused to tell her what they would be doing tonight, so she had brought a bag of extra outfit options. She didn't wanna be rocking these heels all night if they were walking somewhere. But they looked so fabulous, and she'd gotten such a great deal on them –

Danny opened the door, taking Mindy's breath away. He was dressed to the nines in a gray suit, causing Mindy to murmer appreciatively. Danny put his hand in his pocket, looking every bit the male model. Mindy smiled, greeting him with a kiss. "You look so handsome sweetie," she said as he led her into the apartment. He took her coat and purse, hanging them on the tree.

"And you look stunning," Danny replied, holding her at arm's length. She was wearing a red v-neck dress with matching heels. It reminded her of the time he had coached her on what to wear for her first date, way back a few years ago. And look who she was dating now.

"First things first…" Danny reached around to the counter and picked up a small box. "Happy Valentine's Day," he smiled, handing it to Mindy. She glanced up at him, tearing the wrapping paper.

"Chocolate covered cherries! Danny, these are my favorite!" She clutched them to her chest and hugged him.

"Well, I remembered you saying how they made you feel like a celebrity, so I found some," He smiled, happy to have pleased her. Mindy smiled up at him, already wanting to open her sweets.

"I'm saving your present for later," Mindy announced suspiciously. Danny shrugged. He had grown to love her surprises.

"Fine by me." He pecked her on the cheek. "You ready to head out?" Mindy nodded, Danny handing her her coat and purse. They left the apartment, excited for the night ahead.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

"Danny, ohmigod! How did you get reservations here? It must've been booked up months in advance!" Mindy gazed up at the five-star restaurant. Danny smiled, smug.

"Well, I had a feeling we would be together tonight," He replied. Mindy squeezed his hand. If he had made the reservation months ago, that meant he was pretty confident in their relationship. Mindy's heart warmed, knowing that Danny believed in them being together.

"You hungry?" Danny asked, leading her into the restaurant. Mindy nodded, following eagerly behind.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

"Danny, that was divine," Mindy said as they left. Danny nodded. "Yeah, I could tell you enjoyed my veal," he winked at her. Mindy took a second to look ashamed, then was smiling again. "So, what next?"

"Oh, you mean you wanted more than dinner?" Danny suddenly looked worried. "I'm sorry babe, I didn't plan anything else!" Mindy hit him with her purse. Danny smiled, laughing. "Come on."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

"What is this place?" Mindy asked as they pulled up to a dark building.

"You'll see," Danny replied mischievously, helping her out of the cab. As soon as they walked in the door, Mindy knew.

"Dancing!" She squealed, holding onto Danny's arm. He smiled. He'd been watching her rom coms during his breaks, trying to figure out what the key clichés were. Dancing had been one of them. And luckily, he was an expert in that department.

"May I have this dance?" He bowed in front of Mindy slightly, holding out his hand. She nodded excitedly, leaving her coat and purse on a nearby chair. Danny pulled her out onto the dance floor.

"What are your feelings on salsa?" Danny asked, looking into her eyes. Mindy blinked. "Um, the only salsa I have feelings about is the kind that comes with chips." Danny chuckled. "Okay, then follow my lead. When I step forward, you step back, and vice versa. Okay?" He looked at his partner. Mindy nodded.

Danny smiled, grabbing her hands and immediately stepping in time. Mindy struggled at first but soon caught on. She cheered, starting to swing her hips as well. Danny laughed, glad she was so comfortable with him.

He moved his arm so she would spin out. She took a second to strike a pose, then spun back in. Danny held her close, planting a kiss right next to her earlobe. Mindy gasped as he spun her back to the regular position.

Now knowing what she was doing, Mindy took a second to appreciate her dance partner. Danny was good. Like, really good. He looked so confident and sexy. She had no idea his hips could move that way. He smiled, clearly in his element. Mindy loved seeing him like this. She loved their banter, of course, but nothing compared to these moments.

"What?" Danny asked, noticing her staring at him.

"Nothing. Just appreciating the view," Mindy replied, smiling. Danny looked down, embarrassed for a second.

"What, me and my weird body?" Danny smirked, recalling a previous conversation.

"Yeah, your weird, totally-not-smokin body," she said, ceasing to dance and moving in towards her boyfriend.

"So you like to watch me dance," Danny whispered smugly, his breath on her cheek.

"No, I love watching you dance," Mindy replied devilishly. Danny pulled her in close, crushing her lips. The song ended and they broke apart. A ballad began, causing the dance floor to couple up and sway. Danny grabbed one of Mindy's hands, the other on her hip. He smiled, holding her close.

"Thank you Danny," Mindy gave him a kiss on the cheek as they slowly rotated. "This has been a wonderful Valentine's Day." Danny smiled. He loved making her happy. "You're welcome," he replied, spinning her around and dipping her. She let out a little squeal as Danny pulled her back up.

"You ready for part three?" Danny asked as the song ended. The couples clapped, applauding the live band.

"Part three?! Danny, you didn't have to do all of this!" Mindy replied, not looking the least bit sorry. Danny smiled, knowing she was elated.

"I know I didn't. But I want to make you happy. And if any day is a Rom Com day, it's Valentine's." He winked at her. Mindy smiled, holding his hand as they moved off the dance floor.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

"Um…Danny? Am I missing something?" Mindy asked as she looked around. They were standing in the middle of JFK near Terminal 1. While not completely empty, there were still quite a few people milling around, waiting for their flights home to see their loved ones.

"No, this is where I meant to take you." Danny smiled secretively. Mindy looked confused. The cab ride over had been…strange. Danny was sweating like a reality tv star and kept reaching into his pocket. Mindy had wondered what was driving her boyfriend to be a nervous wreck. And this terminal…did not explain it.

"Okay, well, I guess this is…nice?" She asked, turning around slowly. She had made it a full revolution when heart jumped into her throat.

Danny kneeled on the ground in front of her, small velvet box in hand. He opened it to reveal a princess-cut diamond ring. Mindy clutched her chest, unable to breathe.

"Mindy Lahiri," Danny began. "I love you so much. I love that you know as much about pop culture as I know about architecture. I love that when you're annoyed with me, you get this little wrinkle between your brows. I love how you get involved in everybody's business. I love that you make me watch cheesy rom coms and leave the apartment on weekends and drop my towels on the floor every once in awhile. And, I thought, I dunno," he shrugged, "that you deserved a Big moment. I know you wanted the Empire State Building," Mindy shook her head with tears in her eyes, "but that's not our place. Our place is here. At the airport. Well, not really the airport. On a plane home from the West Coast. But this was the best I could do. Min, I was in love with you on the way back from Santa Fe. I was in love with you when you came back for me at my Dad's. When that turbulence hit, I knew. I knew I didn't want to live another second without you by my side. Whenever I'm on a plane, I know I'm coming home. To you.

So I ask: will you, Dr. Mindy Lahiri, do me the greatest honor of marrying me?" He looked up at her, all puppy eyes. Mindy could tell he was sweating through his jacket, waiting for her answer. A small crowd had gathered, waiting too.

"Danny Castellano." She smiled. "Of course I will marry you." She laughed as Danny broke out into beaming smile. He stood up and gathered her in his arms, spinning her around. He put her down, shakily slipping the ring onto her finger and catching her lips in his. They were both shaking from the adrenaline. They stood there amidst the cheering crowd, lost in the moment. After a few seconds, Mindy nodded to the onlookers, turning back to make out with her boyfriend. Ahem. Fiancé.

When they had finally calmed down, Mindy pulled a little bit away from Danny. "Well, I can't follow that," she said, laughing. "Your present is gonna seem so lame now."

"You marrying me is the best present you could ever give me," Danny said seriously, staring into her eyes.

"I dunno…this one is pretty great too." She looked devious. Danny laughed, giving in. "Alright. What's my present?"

Mindy reached into her jacket, pulling out a baseball glove. "I got it signed by Yogi Berra. He goes to my coffeeshop, so I bought him a latte. Happy Valentine's Day, baby." Mindy smiled as she handed Danny the mitt. He gaped, glancing between her and the glove. "First of all, I refuse to believe that Yogi Berra drinks his coffee anyway but black. Second of all…you. are. Amazing." He gathered her up in another embrace, spinning her around. Mindy laughed, happy.

"So you like it?" she asked worriedly.

"Do I like it? I love it." Danny whispered, leaning in to kiss her. They stood there, blissfully happy in their bubble. Mindy glanced around them at the unlikely scenery. Never had she imagined that she would be getting engaged at JFK. Times Square, maybe. But JFK? Oh, how Danny had changed her life for the better.

"Do you know where I got the idea for the proposal?" Danny asked, still holding onto his fiancé.

"No, where?" Mindy asked, racking her mind for any terminal-specific memories.

"Love, Actually. You finally got me with your cheesy movies." Danny smiled, not sounding upset at all.

"Well, good. Cuz you have many more viewings to look forward to," Mindy replied. She glanced around the terminal one more time, taking in the scenery. This was Her Place now. Forever. She smiled at Danny, pulling her prince charming behind her.


	2. Mardi Gras

"Happy Mardi Gras!" Mindy cheered, tossing beaded necklaces as she entered the office.

"Thanks Dr. L!" Betsy said, grabbing a purple one and swiftly placing it over her head, smiling.

"Necklace, Danny?" Mindy held one on the tip of her finger. She beckoned to him, making it swing towards his chin.

"The only necklace I wear has a cross on it," Danny replied, not even looking up from his paperwork.

"Ugh, you're such a bummer. Mardi Gras is fun! You get candy, jewelry, and alcohol. It's like Valentine's Day, without the reminder of being single." Mindy said cheerily.

"You're not even in New Orleans," Danny shook his head, walking back towards his office. Mindy followed.

"So what? Harry Styles is on another continent and that doesn't stop us from dating."

"You're not –" "Shhhh." Mindy interrupted, putting a finger to his lips. "Anyway, the point is that it's a holiday and I plan to celebrate it to its full extent."

"What're you gonna do? Go to some bar wearing a sparkly green dress and a mask?" Danny chuckled, sitting down at his desk.

"Well, I found a couple places that have Mardi Gras theme nights," Mindy replied, perching on the edge. Danny batted her off.

"So you're gonna get drunk with a bunch of strangers." Danny narrowed his eyes at her.

"Danny, it's so much more than that! There'll be beads, and dancing, and okay, yes, a couple of colorful drinks. You should come!" Her eyes lit up with excitement.

"No, the whole party thing is more your scene," Danny waved her off, shrugging. "I'll just go home and watch a documentary on it. I'm sure the History Channel's got something playing tonight."

"Danny." Mindy walked around the desk, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You are not a grandfather yet." She smiled and straightened up. "It's decided. You're coming out with me." She turned around, exiting confidently.

"I'm not wearing any necklaces!" Danny shouted after her, nervously nodding at a patient passing by. He quickly shut the door before Mindy could wrestle him into anything else.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You should really lock your front door, you know," Danny said as he walked into Mindy's room. She screamed, clutching a hand to her chest.

"Danny! You have to knock! Your Italian family may have been paranoid about what goes on behind closed doors, but in my house, we respected privacy."

Danny used Mindy's mini-rant as a chance to evaluate her wardrobe. She was wearing a sparkling green wrap dress, plus a pair of sky-high golden heels. He smiled, loving how well he knew her.

"Danny? Are you listening to me?" She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "The party starts in half an hour," she explained, putting on some heavy-looking chandelier earrings. He smirked at her tilted head as she tried to put them through. Her hair fell in a curtain past her shoulders, and he could already smell the telltale citrus aroma of her shampoo.

"What?" Mindy asked, straightening up and pulling the edges of her dress down.

"Nothing," Danny replied, folding his arms. "Just enjoying the spectacle that is you getting ready."

"Well unfortunately for you, it is almost over. Here, can you zip me up?" Mindy turned her back to him, sweeping her hair away from her neck. Danny slid the zipper up the length of her back, breathing in her perfume. He sighed. Mindy turned around, breaking him from his reverie.

"Okay, I'm ready to go." She grabbed her clutch from the nightstand. Finally done preparing, Mindy realized what Danny was wearing. "Danny! Jeans and a denim tshirt? This is a Mardi Gras party we're going to, not a Bruce Springsteen concert."

"Show. It's a show." Danny corrected. He held out his arms. "And what's so wrong with denim? It's an American fabric. The stuff of cowboys." He put his hands on his hips, proud.

"Whatever, Texas Ranger. Let's go." Mindy grabbed his elbow and led him out of the apartment, excited for the festivities that lay ahead.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

"It looks really crammed in there, yknow, I think I'm just gonna head home-" Danny began, turning away from the club entrance.

"Oh no you don't," Mindy stopped him, grabbing his hand. Danny glanced down and back up, Mindy letting go quickly. "You're already dressed, you're already here. We're going to celebrate Mardi Gras and that's final." She turned back around, walking up to the bouncer.

"Hey there. So me and my friend-" she gestured towards Danny "have two tickets to get in. Under Lahiri?" She looked up at the giant that guarded the door. He skimmed his clipboard, grunting in approval. Mindy beamed, pulling Danny along behind her. He swallowed as he skated by the muscle-bound man.

He immediately regretted entering. The music was deafening, and it was so dark he could barely see two feet in front of him. If it weren't for Mindy holding onto his hand, he would've been lost in the crowd in a split second.

After a few painful minutes of tug-of-war, they ended up near the bar.

"What do you want?" Danny asked, pulling out his wallet. "What?" Mindy asked, already bouncing to the music. Danny leaned in close. "What do you want to drink?" "Oh, something fruity. Something with mango!" Mindy nodded, shouting. Her breath tickled his ear and Danny quickly retreated.

"Okay. I'm gonna go -" Danny gestured to the bar. Mindy nodded, already busy staring at the extravagant decorations. There were streamers from wall to wall, sparkles all over the floor and everyone, and beads draped from every surface. Danny glanced back as he pushed through the crowd. He could tell that she was in heaven.

"I'll have a Sam Adams and a Mango Tango," Danny shouted at the bartender, shrugging at the fruity drink's name. The guy nodded in reply, preparing the order. Danny turned around to see a dark figure in front of Mindy. She was nodding and smiling up at him, still bobbing to the beat.

The bartender pushed the drinks across the bar, Danny throwing a bill at him. "Keep the change," he said as he rushed towards Mindy.

"This guy bothering you?" Danny asked, sizing up his competition. He handed Mindy the drink, moving in close to put an arm around her.

"Um, no, Zach was just telling me about his job as a party planner." Mindy shifted out of his grasp, hiding behind her hair to give him a look that screamed "what-are-you-doing"?

"Yeah, I planned the Macy's Day Parade and -" Danny cut him off. "Yeah, that's real nice buddy. Sounds interesting." Danny's tone conveyed he thought it was anything but.

Taking the hint, Zach turned to Mindy. "Well, maybe I'll see you around…later." He nodded towards Danny, making his exit.

Mindy turned to her instigator. "What was that for?!" She cried angrily.

"What? The guy was hitting on you and you looked uncomfortable, so I came over here. Jeez, you should be thanking me." Danny shook his head. He knew she hadn't been displeased with Zach's presence, but he was.

"Ugh! Whatever. It's fine, Danny, I'll just be single for the rest of my life. When they find my body in my apartment two weeks after I've died, think back to this moment." She turned away, sipping her drink, but a little smile peeked out. Danny smirked, knowing she wasn't really mad at him. He guided her away from the bar and back towards the pandemonium of the dance floor.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Danny was actually enjoying himself. He'd forgotten what it was like to be "young". What, 30 was the new 20 right?

"Danny! Dance!" Mindy demanded, jumping up and down in the crowd. Danny shook his head. "Come on!" she protested. "I know you can! I saw you burning up the dance floor when the practice went clubbing!"

Danny scratched the back of his head, embarrassed. He'd forgotten about that. He just couldn't help himself; he'd taken dance lessons when he was younger and the talent'd never left.

Mindy didn't give him a chance to think it over. She pulled him close, smiling in anticipation. Danny groaned and rolled his eyes, but began to dance.

"Ohmigod! Danny you're so good! It's like watching Dick Van Dyke be Beyonce's backup dancer!"

Danny scoffed at her backhanded compliment, but didn't stop moving. He was really getting into this now. His swung his hips in time with the music, concentrating on staying on the beat. Mindy continued to jump up and down in front of him. He shook his head. "No, here. We're dancing to Zydeco music. Let me show you."

He grabbed her and pulled her close, tucking her into his side. She let out a little squeal of surprise but quickly mirrored his actions. When he would swing forward, she swung back. Soon they were spinning around, not caring that they were grazing the backs of the twenty-somethings grinding on each other. Mindy laughed as Danny twirled her out and back in, so her back was to his front.

"Try to follow me." He whispered in her ear, He moved his feet, holding her tight so she would have the balance to do the same. A shiver ran up Mindy's spine as she tried to concentrate on dancing and not the man pushed up against her, teaching her the ways of Mardi Gras. She was feeling awfully close to saying something when the music changed. Danny swung her around to face him, laughing.

"So? What do you think of the real Mardi Gras?" Danny asked, smirking.

"It was alright," she replied. She hoped it was too dark to see her burning face. She searched the room for inspiration. They needed a topic change. "Look, Danny! A stage!" Mindy jumped up and down and pointed. Over the crowd, Danny could see the platform. Lit up by purple, green and yellow lights, a young woman danced to the club Zydeco music. At the edge of the stage lay a basket oozing candy and necklaces. Mindy turned to Danny.

"Danny. Ohmigod. She has the necklaces. It is not officially Mardi Gras until I catch a necklace!" She started to shove through the crowd towards the stage. Danny followed after, apologizing to those pushed aside.

Mindy cheered once she reached her destination. "Mardi Gras!" She cried, jumping up and down. The dancer noticed, bending down towards the basket. She grabbed a handful of beads and tossed them in Mindy's direction. Mindy, holding her now-empty glass, missed the catch.

"Dammit!" She exclaimed, turning to Danny. "Here, hold my glass." She turned around, scanning the floor for the lost prize.

"I thought it only meant something if you caught the necklace," Danny smirked.

"Oh, whatever," Mindy waved him off. "Oh! There they are!" Mindy bent down to retrieve the beads. Danny was appreciating the sight in front of him when-

"OW! DAMMIT! OH, GOD!" Mindy snapped back up, clutching her right hand with her left. Danny instantly became worried. "What? What? What happened?"

"Someone stepped on my hand!" Mindy cried, waving it around. She whimpered with pain.

"Hold on a second, just let me-" Danny shoved the glasses onto the stage with a look of disapproval from the dancer. Danny ignored her, turning back towards Mindy. He caught her hand, stopping her injury dance.

He examined it. There was no blood, so she was lucky on that count, but it did feel like there might be some internal damage. Danny, resisting the urge to kiss her hand, looked at Mindy. "We're gonna go to the hospital."

"What? Danny, no! We just got here! And I didn't even get my necklace!" Mindy replied, upset. Danny quickly ducked down, used his arm to block a sliding pair of legs and rose again with a necklace in his hand.

"Here, see? You got a necklace. Now it's time to go get that hand checked out." Danny pushed past her, grabbing her uninjured hand. He quickly shoved through the crowd and out into the open air, hailing a taxi.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Hey, how you feelin?" Danny asked, walking into the exam room. Mindy stared miserably at her left hand, several fingers taped together.

"Okay, I guess. He said he thinks my middle finger may be broken. Don't," Mindy stopped Danny before he could make any jokes. Danny nodded, chuckling. "Anyways, he says I just need to keep them taped for awhile and they should be fine." Mindy sighed.

"Aw, come on, that's not too bad. Could've been worse. It could've been your writing hand," Danny offered sympathetically.

"But now I can't wear an engagement ring for awhile! What if I meet Mr. Right and I can't even accept his proposal?" She sounded so distressed.

"Well, first of all, I would hope that you wouldn't get engaged that quickly," Danny joked, nudging her. "It's only gonna be a month or so before you're better. And secondly, what about Harry?" Danny smirked.

"We have an understanding," Mindy smiled, happy Danny was playing along. "Unfortunately, Harry and I have decided to take a break to focus on our careers. I've got babies to bring into this world, and he's got music to teach them the ways of love." She sighed dramatically.

"Alright, Casanova, let's get you out of here." Danny shook his head, laughing. "Why don't we go get you a soft pretzel?"

"I think that would be the perfect ending to my Mardi Gras celebration," Mindy smiled, following after him. He grabbed her right hand, smiling, giving her her precious beads. She ran her finger along the plastic, already reminiscing. Then she squeezed his hand tight and followed him out, turning the lights off as they exited.


	3. Luck of the Irish

"What's that, Dr. L?" Betsy pointed at the green piece of paper Mindy was taping to the fridge in the breakroom.

"Oh, just a little flyer announcing our St. Patrick's Day celebration!" Mindy smiled wide. "The bars are going to be crazy, so I figured we could just buy the booze and do it at my place! Plus I have wifi."

"I can't wait!" Betsy clapped excitedly before a look of fear flashed across her face. "I don't have to drink a whole bottle of blue stuff again, do I?"

Mindy shook her head. "Not quite, my ambitious little chugger. This time, it's green!" Betsy whimpered a little. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna force you to drink it. There will be beer and other cocktails too." Betsy breathed a sigh of relief.

"I thought we said you couldn't advertise your Scandal marathons at the office anymore," Danny gestured towards the flyer, grabbing an apple and biting in.

"Scandal comes on on Thursdays, Danny," Mindy and Betsy shared a look. "Anyway, this is different. Monday is Saint Patrick's Day!"

"I don't celebrate Saint Patrick's Day out of despite for the Irish." Danny narrowed his eyes, bitter.

"Well you're gonna have to get over that. It's a practice-wide party at mi casa, and you are baking the cupcakes!"

Danny stood up quickly. "What? Why did I get assigned cupcake duty?"

Mindy shrugged. "Because you're the only partner who can bake. Jeremy would eat them all before he got to the party, and I'm pretty sure Peter thinks an electric mixer is a networking event. You're all that's left."

Danny groaned. "Fine, fine! I'll make the cupcakes. But I refuse to recognize them as a symbol of Irish celebration."

Mindy smiled. "Great! Me and Peter are going to get the drink supplies tonight, and we're all set!" She paused. "Oh, and Danny, I already bought you something for the cupcakes." She reached around the fridge. "Green frosting!" She held it out towards Danny. He grabbed it from her, rolling his eyes and retreating into his office. Mindy and Betsy giggled, admiring the flyer once more.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Mindy opened the door, loud music already blasting in the background. "Hey Betsy! Come on in!" She hugged her briefly, taking her coat.

"You look so festive, Dr. L!" Betsy nodded in appreciation. Mindy smiled.

"Green is my power color. I had to go all out!" She gestured to her shamrock earrings and headband and adjusted the lining on her leprechaun skirt. Betsy laughed, and upon seeing Jeremy, moved into the living room to say hello.

Mindy was just about to close the door when she heard someone shout "Hey!" She opened it back up.

"Danny! You're here!" She took in the green sight before her. "Ohmigod Danny! They look delicious!"

"What, me or the cupcakes?" Danny smirked. Mindy rolled her eyes but smiled. "The cupcakes, doofus. But you look nice too." She opened the door wider and kissed him on the cheek as he entered. Danny looked abashed, moving quickly into the kitchen to put the sweets down. Mindy followed.

"So are you ready to party like it's Pierce Brosnan's birthday?" she asked, watching as Danny micromanaged the positioning of his cupcakes on the tray.

"Just because he's Irish, that doesn't mean you get to use him to sponsor your little event." Danny gave her a look. "Don't belittle James Bond that way. And I dunno, Min. I'll probably just have a beer or two. I don't feel like going crazy tonight."

"Oh come on, Danny! Live a little! It's Saint Patricks' Day, and I know for a fact that you don't have an appointment until 11 tomorrow."

Danny threw his head back. "What did we say about getting my schedule from Betsy? Privacy, Min. A man's gotta have some!" He smiled, however, not looking too distressed.

"Well let's get you started anyway!" Mindy cheered. She turned around and grabbed a beer off the counter. Danny started to protest but she pushed it up to his lips, forcing him to swallow.

"Jeez, Min, how much have you had already?" He wiped the alcohol off his lips.

"Just a couple shots and something called a Lucky Leprechaun!" She shrugged. Danny shook his head.

"Why don't you take it easy for now." He eyed her warily.

"Fine, Dad, I will." She sighed. "But you have to promise me you'll drink an Irish Car-Bomb with me later!"

"You know that drink's offensive to the Irish, right?"

"What?" Mindy looked confused. "Oh, coming!" She shouted over her shoulder at someone requesting her presence. "Don't forget. Later!" She briefly squeezed his shoulder before turning away.

Danny took the time alone to appreciate the party. Mindy really had gone all out. There were streamers everywhere, green plates and cutlery, and enough shamrocks to fill Yankee Stadium. Not to mention there was some cheesy CD blasting classic "Irish" music. He was sure she'd bought it off Ebay. Either way, it was a nice setup.

Peter walked up to Danny. "Brosef! How's it hangin?" He slapped him on the back.

"I'm good," Danny replied, taking another sip of his beer. He shuddered, pulling back to look at the label. Smithwick's? What was this crap?

Peter laughed. "Yeah, the bud ain't too great, but the liquor lineup is off the chain!"

Danny shrugged. "I think I'm good," he replied, stomaching a few more sips. Peter shrugged. "Whatever you say man. I'm gonna go see if I can get one of these fine temps to taste my lucky charms, if you know what I mean." He winked, forcing Danny to give him a high five as he walked off. Danny shuddered.

He watched Mindy as she bounced from group to group. She really was an amazing hostess. She knew what the people wanted, and she gave it to them.

Mindy noticed him staring and waved. She said something to the group she was talking to and walked over to Danny.

"Danny, are you still on that same beer? You're not even doing Saint Patrick's Day Right!" She looked at him, disappointed.

"I don't see why we need a special day to devote to drinking," he replied. "If I want to drink, I can drink any day."

"Yeah, but can you drink with these on?" Mindy grabbed something from behind her and placed it on Danny's head. Danny reached up and grabbed the item. It was a leprechaun hat. Really cheesy. He checked it out for a second before placing it back on his head.

"No, I guess I can't." Mindy beamed up at him, reaching to straighten the hat. Her arm brushed his cheek and they both froze, staring in each others' eyes.

Mindy took a deep breath, shaking off the moment. "Okay. I can tell. It's time for the Irish Car-Bomb!" She turned around towards the living room. "Who's ready for the Irish Car-Bombs!" Danny shook his head as the rest of the apartment cheered. Mindy turned around, clapping in excitement. "Peter!" She called. "Help me get them ready!"

Peter saluted, breaking off from a pack of young women. "Sorry ladies, duty calls." They expressed their regret as the watched him walk off towards the kitchen.

"Where are those girls from?" Danny stopped Peter as he passed by. "Heaven?, " Peter shrugged, continuing on his way. Danny shook his head once more.

Mindy and Peter managed to whip up 15 drinks in as many minutes. Danny was amazed.

"Here you go!" Mindy handed him one glass of beer, giving him a full shot glass for the other. She returned with her own. "Now, you have to drink it quickly before it curdles. You drop the shot in and then chug!" She looked Danny in the eyes. "Okay?"

Danny nodded. What was he, 20 again? The things Mindy got him into. He shrugged. Mindy took that as consent. She turned to the rest of the party. "Alright, everybody. Chug or gulp whatever you have on three! Ready? ONE….TWO….THREE!"

She plunked her shot glass into the beer and began to shotgun. Danny, staring at her in amazement, forget to drink his own. Mindy slammed her glass down on the counter, proud, as Danny attempted to finish his before it curdled.

"Oh, Danny. Too slow!" Mindy patted him on the back. Danny nodded. "What can I say? You're better at drinking than I am." He smiled wickedly as Mindy smiled back. She cheered, causing the rest of the guests to cheer in response.

It was 1 AM before people started to filter out of the apartment, expressing their thanks and telling Mindy how much they loved the party. The liquor was half gone, there was no beer left, and Danny's cupcakes were destroyed. Mindy considered it a job well done.

"Bye, Morgan, see you tomorrow! No, you don't kiss anybody under a shamrock. That's mistletoe at Christmas." She shook her head, backing up as he closed the door. She turned around to evaluate the damage. Heaving a big sigh, clearing some space for her to plop down on the couch.

Then she heard a cough coming from the kitchen. She glanced up. Danny was wiping the counter, picking up the remnants of his dessert.

"You don't have to do that," Mindy walked over, grabbing his arm mid-swipe. Danny smirked.

"Well, someone has to. I know you're just gonna go pass out and wake up to this in the morning."

"That is true. Well, I'll start now I guess, since you so subtly suggested it." She rolled her eyes at him, teasing.

Mindy grabbed a half-full cup of beer and started drinking. "Min! Is that yours?" Danny asked worriedly.

"No, but I figure why let it go to waste? I trust everyone that was here," she replied lazily.

"Oh yeah? Then who were those girls Peter was talking to all night?"

"They're some of my mentees. I figured that if they met Peter and knew he was a gyno, they would see that even they could do it too." Danny laughed. "Nice." Mindy nodded in acceptance.

They cleaned in silence, enjoying being productive. It wasn't long before Mindy's apartment was restored to its stylish state. Satisfied, they leaned on the counter to appreciate their work. Danny turned around and grabbed two cupcakes, handing one to his partner in crime. Mindy smiled her thanks, licking icing off her finger. Danny ate his own cupcake quickly. The clock chimed 2 AM.

"Well, I guess I better be going." Danny stood up, dusting off his hands. "I'll leave what's rest of the cupcakes." Mindy hopped off the stool and walked over to him.

"Thanks, Danny. They really were delicious." Danny shrugged, modest. "At least this time they didn't get destroyed before anyone could appreciate them."

"Yep." Mindy started to rock back and forth. Danny caught her, holding her upright. "You okay?" He searched her face, fear splashed across his own.

"Mhm." She took a deep breath. "Hey Danny. Can I ask you something?"

Danny guided her to the stool and nodded. "Sure. What's up?"

"Can you kiss me?"

Danny let go of her for a second, amazed that didn't sway off the stool on her own. "What?"

"Can you kiss me?" She asked again. Danny held his breath. "It's Saint Patrick's Day. Kiss me, you're Irish." She smiled.

Danny laughed. "No, Min, it goes, kiss me, I'm Irish."

"Okay." She smiled and leaned into him. Their lips met, soft with exhaustion and alcohol. Danny breathed in the smell of liquor and icing around them. He didn't care about streamers caught in his shoe or the icing he was now smearing down Mindy's back. He was in heaven. They stopped for a second to breathe. Mindy smiled against him.

"I guess the Irish aren't so bad." Danny breathed, their foreheads touching.

"It was just your lucky day," Mindy replied leaning into him once again.

And with that, Danny made a mental note to pray to Saint Patrick on Sunday.


	4. The Sweetest Thing

“This looks delicious Betsy,” Mindy smiled, placing the cake on the table with the other desserts. She stepped out of the way as kids ran towards it, excited to taste what lay beneath the pastel icing. 

 

“Well, I know how much you love your sweets,” Betsy smiled. “I’m just glad we could get everyone together to celebrate Easter!” 

 

“Me too! You guys really are my second family,” Mindy replied, squeezing Betsy’s arm affectionately. “And my first,” she added, spotting Danny across the yard. “Babe! Betsy’s here!” She waved him over. 

 

Danny jogged to the dessert table, smiling widely. “Hey Bets. Good to see you.”

 

“It’s good to see you too, Dr. C. When’s the Easter egg hunt start?”

 

“Should be any minute now. We’re waiting on Morgan and Tamra to arrive. They’re supposed to be bringing the Easter bunny outfit for pictures later.”

 

Mindy paused. “Are you sure Morgan said outfit? I thought I heard him stop at bunny…”

 

Danny’s eyes widened. 

 

“You know what? I’m sure he said outfit. It’ll be fine,” Mindy waved it off, but Danny continued to look like he wasn’t breathing.

 

“Danny, relax. If Morgan did bring an actual live bunny –“ she glanced between Betsy and Danny, who seemed equally skeptical, “then we can just lock them in the bathroom. You know how Morgan is about animals.”

 

“I guess you’re right,” Danny shrugged. He checked his watch. “We better get started anyway. I’m sure there will be plenty of eggs for Cheyenne when they arrive.” 

 

“Everybody gather round,” Mindy announced, turning towards the small crowd gathered on her front lawn. 

 

A small, brown-hair girl ran up to Danny, latching on to his leg and sucking on her thumb. Danny smiled and rustled her hair. He bent down to her level, straightening out her dress. “Let’s be quiet and listen to Mommy,” he whispered, smiling at his wife. Mindy beamed back. 

 

“Thank you, everyone, for being here today. It makes me so proud to say that Shulman and Associates is truly a family and not just a practice.” Murmurs and cheers sprung forth from the crowd. “That being said, this is the Easter egg hunt. Take no prisoners!” She laughed as Beverly nodded seriously. “Do we all have our baskets?” 

 

She glanced around the crowd. Betsy and Jeremy stood on the side, both holding little baskets Mindy assumed Betsy’d made herself. Betsy smiled back, rubbing her slightly protruding belly. 

 

Mindy moved on to Peter and Sasha, who were both abstaining from the competition in favor of the open bar. Some things never change, Mindy shook her head. At least Peter had finally found someone whose wardrobe matched his own. They looked like a J. Crew ad, sporting matching salmon shorts and pale purple shirts. Peter’s even had a little Easter egg on his. Mindy nodded appreciatively. 

 

Finally, she settled on Danny. Danny, her husband, the love of her life, the father of her child. He smiled back at her, glancing down at Piper as she pulled on his baby blue shirt. Mindy felt her heart threaten to burst. She was so happy. 

 

Danny knew the look in her eye. He flicked his own towards the waiting group, reminding her of her duty. Mindy smiled her thanks as Danny grabbed Piper’s hand, showing that they were ready.

 

Mindy took a deep breath. “The rules are the same as every year: There are 50 eggs, and 1 golden egg. Whoever finds the golden egg wins the grand prize. On your mark…get ready…get set…go!” She announced, watching as everyone flew in opposite directions. Danny picked Piper up, carrying her around the yard and pointing to various locations. 

 

“I guess this shindig’s alright, for someone I know used to party hardy,” Peter said to Mindy as he made his way over to the table. Mindy shrugged, grazing on a Peep. 

 

“I know it’s not as crazy as I used to like it, but life’s different now,” Mindy looked over at Danny and Piper grabbing an egg from under the mailbox. “I’ve got a family. I’ve got it all.”

 

“Yeugh,” Peter shuddered, shaking his head. “I did not come here to be disgusted. I came here to get day drunk and eat an unhealthy amount of chocolate.”

 

“Well don’t let me stop you,” Mindy allowed, holding her arm out towards the dessert table behind her. 

 

“Thank you,” Peter replied sarcastically, loading up his plate with sweets. 

 

The egg hunt was well underway when a white passenger van screeched into the cul-de-sac. Tamra, Morgan and their daughter Cheyenne all tumbled out, Cheyenne running to meet up with Piper. 

 

That’s when Mindy realized the Tookers had brought another guest.

 

“His name is Randolph, and I have to have him back to the mall by four,” Morgan explained as he walked up to Mindy. He was carrying a white bunny rabbit that was fidgeting in his arms. 

 

Tamra rolled her eyes. “I told you, Morgan, Danny said suit! You know, for Jeremy to dress up in like the creepy pedo he is?”

 

“Hey, wait a minute –“ Jeremy protested before being silenced by Betsy shoving a cupcake in his mouth. He chewed happily, content. He was a sympathy eater, gaining all of Betsy’s pregnancy weight for her. 

 

“Well, I had to call in a favor from a friend, so now we have Randolph,” Morgan reiterated. “Although he didn’t pee on the way here, so he’s gonna need a potty break. You don’t mind if we use those flowers, right? I heard that urine’s really good for the soil.” He walked off towards Mindy’s mailbox, setting Randolph on the ground by her tulips while he put on his leash. Mindy sighed, giving up. 

 

“How are you Tamra?” she asked. “Can I get you anything to drink? Soda, tea, citrus water?”

 

“I’m good, finished catching up on Sleepy Hollow last week. But why you gotta have fancy water? What’s wrong with the normal kind?” Tamra asked. 

 

“It’s what’s kept Jennifer Anniston looking so young!” Mindy claimed, offering her a glass. 

 

Tamra grabbed a Coke instead, walking towards Beverly, who was digging in Mindy’s garden looking for eggs. Mindy rolled her eyes. The egg hunt was on, and that was her final responsibility. Danny would take care of the rest. 

 

“Hey baby, find a lot of eggs?” Mindy asked, walking over to Piper. 

 

“Mommy, I found a pink one an’ a green one an’ a blue one’ an a-“

 

“We’ve found a lot of eggs so far,” Danny summarized, smiling. 

 

“Wow, I’m so proud of my girl!” Mindy beamed, tickling Piper’s sides. 

 

Piper giggled. “Mommy, stop! We gotta find the gold egg!”

 

“Oh, that’s right. Where do you think it is?” She asked, looking out across the lawn.

 

“I dunno. That’s why we gotta look!” Piper replied, already exuding some of her mother’s attitude. Mindy laughed, picking Piper up and kissing her cheek. “Alright little one, then let’s look.” She turned to Danny. “I’ve got her, if you wanna go get the other thing ready.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Danny nodded, pinching Piper’s cheeks. “Be good for Daddy. I’ll be back soon,” he promised, giving Mindy a peck and waving as he walked towards the house. 

 

“Bye bye Daddy!” Piper waved back, attention already back to her mission. “Over there!” She pointed to one of the bushes. “Mommy, let’s go over there!”

 

“Okay, here we go.” Mindy carried her towards the vegetation, letting her loose to poke through the leaves. 

 

“Found one!” Piper cried, victorious. “But iss weird, Mommy.” She held up a rock. 

 

Mindy chuckled. “That’s not what we’re looking for, baby. We want colorful! Or shiny. Remember: diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” She looked Piper in the eyes. 

 

“Diamons are a gir’s bess’ friend,” Piper repeatedly faithfully. “Over there!” She pointed again, this time in the complete opposite direction. She set off running, Mindy following after her. 

 

“I got it! I’ve got the golden egg!” Beverly cheered, holding up something tiny.

 

“What is that?” Mindy asked, squinting. 

 

Jeremy gagged. “Beverly, that’s your golden tooth.”

 

“Oh! I was lookin’ for that!” Beverly smiled, jamming it back into her mouth. She laughed, continuing her search while the rest of the company shuddered.

 

“Wait, I found it!” Cheyenne moved to the front of the lawn. In her hand she held the single golden egg. 

 

“But I wanted to find it, Mommy,” Piper buried her head in Mindy’s shoulder, beginning to cry.

 

Mindy patted her back. “Oh, don’t worry honey. There’s always next year. And don’t forget, we have cake for later!”

 

“Mmm cake!” Piper cheered, colored eggs already forgotten. She dried her tears on her Easter dress, Mindy making a mental note to check The Couture Baby’s website for more sales. 

 

“So what do I win?” Cheyenne asked, walking up to Mindy, impatient.

 

Mindy put Piper down for a second, walking over to the dessert table. She pulled something out from underneath and held it behind her back.

 

“You get...your very own Easter bunny!” Mindy held out a big stuffed rabbit.

 

“Aww, but I already have Randolph!” she whined.

 

“Cheyenne, don’t you start. Thank Mrs. Castellano for the prize.”

 

“Thank you, Mrs. Castellano,” Cheyenne repeated begrudgingly. She did snuggle up to the stuffed animal after a minute, however, looking pleased with herself. 

 

“Well, that concludes the egg hunt,” Mindy gestured towards Cheyenne. “Dinner will be ready in just a second, but first-“ 

 

“Did someone say colored eggs?” Danny announced, carrying out a large platter of hard-boiled eggs. Balancing on top were several boxes of food coloring and cups for water. 

 

“No, you see, Dr. C, she said egg hunt. We really need to get your hearing checked out. I know you’re getting up there in years – “

 

“I’m in my thirties!” Danny cried, setting the platter down on the cleared table. 

 

Morgan help up his hands. “You can lead a horse to an ear specialist but you can’t make him hear high pitches.”

 

“I don’t think that’s how the phrase goes,” Betsy interjected. 

 

“No, I’m pretty sure that’s it,” Morgan pondered for a second, shrugging. 

 

Danny shook his head. “It doesn’t matter because my hearing’s fine. Anyway, everybody, it’s time to color the eggs! Make sure to use the white crayon to write your name on your egg, and then dip it in whatever color you’d like. There are plenty of eggs, so there should be two each.”

 

Danny heard a muffled choke behind him. Turning around, he saw Jeremy stuffing several eggs into his pocket, two already de-shelled. 

 

“One each,” he amended, sighing. Jeremy shrugged apologetically. The kids squealed, running towards the table. The parents helped make sure not too much color was spilled, placing the eggs in Tupperware to dry.

 

“What’re you drawing on yours?” Danny whispered to Mindy, nudging her. 

 

“You can’t see yet!” She pulled her egg back, still drawing. She finished up, dipping it in the red dye with a spoon. After a few minutes, she held it out to Danny. 

 

“Four.” He smiled knowingly. He leaned in, kissing her briefly despite the company.

 

“Ewww! Gross, Mommy and Daddy!” Mindy and Danny chuckled, leaning down to help Piper with her own egg. 

 

It wasn’t long before Danny checked his watch again. “Dinner’s ready!” he announced, gesturing for everyone to join him inside. 

 

After a few minutes of fitting booster seats and rearranging, finally everyone was seated. Danny smiled down at Mindy from the head of the table, Piper grabbing her mother’s pinky. 

 

“Well, I would just like to thank everyone for coming. It means a lot to me – to us,” he amended, “that you could all come out and celebrate Easter as a family. Let’s give thanks,” he announced, bowing his head. 

 

“Dear heavenly Lord, thank you for bringing everyone together today. Thank you for this delicious food, these great people, and all the children. Thank you for keeping Shulman & Associates safe. In your mercy, Amen.” Choruses of “amen” rang out across the table as everyone waited for the signal to start. 

 

“Alright, dig in! Mangia!” Danny declared, getting up to slice the ham. Mindy beamed, looking around the table at all of her loved ones. There was no place she’d rather be. 

 

“What’s wrong, Mommy? Have something too sweet?” Piper asked, noting the tear rolling down her mother’s cheek. Mindy quickly wiped it away. 

 

“The sweetest,” she replied, blowing kisses to Danny across the table. She took a bite of her mashed potatoes, basking in the glow of her family.


	5. Mother Knows Best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for all the mothers/mother-figures out there! Thank you for your tireless work and love. What you teach us it what we teach our daughters and sons. Happy Mother's Day!

"Min, are you sure you should be eating that? We just had cake 15 minutes ago."

Mindy turned and growled at her husband, digging her spoon deeper into the carton of Phish Food. "Danny, there's a reason there's a song called 'Ice Cream & Cake'. You can't have one without the other."

"I'm pretty sure that's not – "

"Shhhh," Mindy shushed Danny, shoving a mouthful of the cold substance between his lips to silence him. "Good, no?"

Danny swallowed. "Very good. For the tastebuds. Not so much the diet, though."

Mindy rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Castellame-o. You know I need to keep up my full figure. _Some_ men like curvy women," she noted, smirking at him knowingly.

Danny chuckled, kissing her on the cheek before going to wash the dishes leftover from their cake. "So when I finish with this, you wanna help me clear out the guest room closet? Ma's coming next week, and I wanna make sure she has room for her stuff."

Mindy groaned. "Do we _have_ to?"

Danny finished drying a plate and walked over to his wife. He looked her in the eyes. "Min, that closet is bursting. We can't keep _everything_. Don't you have stuff that doesn't fit anymore? Something you can give away to those that need it?"

" _I_ need it," Mindy replied, knowing her excuse was flimsy. Danny gave her a look. She sighed. "You know just how to make me feel guilty. Fine. I'll finish up my ice cream, and then help you decimate my wardrobe. Happy?"

"Very." Danny smirked, kissing his wife on the head. He grabbed the spoon, licking it clean despite Mindy's protests. He then threw it in the sink, putting the lid back on the tub before looking at Mindy, who was now pouting. "Oh, come on. I'll let you pick the movie tonight. Okay?"

"Okay!" Mindy perked right up, hopping off the stool. She followed Danny into the guest room, already searching for a cleaning-themed Pandora playlist.

______________________________________________________________________________________

"Okay, do we really need _these_?" Danny asked, holding up a pair of socks with bunnies on them. Mindy snatched them away from his grasp.

"Hey! These are my heartache day socks! No way I'm giving them away!"

Danny groaned, gesturing to one large pile behind them and a small one next to the door. "Min, we can't keep everything. You're barely giving anything away!"

Mind cradled the socks to her chest. "I can't help it, Danny. I have a personal connection to all of my things."

"Even baseball hats that are still in the wrapping?" Danny held said item up accusingly. "Since when have you ever liked baseball? Or sports in general, for that matter?"

"I won that on a radio contest!" Mindy cried, caressing it while Danny rubbed his temples in frustration.

"Mindy, please. Think of all the people in the world who can't even afford to clothe their children. You would be helping so many families. Maybe even a child you delivered!"

Mindy sighed, knowing he was right. "You're right, I'm sorry. Here." She handed Danny the socks and hat, watching tearfully as he placed them in the smaller pile.

The next two hours passed slowly, a game of negotiation between the two spouses. By the end, however, the donation pile was considerably bigger.

"Okay. Last item." Danny reached in the closet, pulling out a wrinkled gray tshirt. "Looks like something to donate, right?"

"Let me check first! Maybe it's the tshirt I got for winning the wet tshirt contest!" Danny scoffed, causing Mindy to shove him. She took the shirt from his hands, opening it to see the design. On the inside were the words _Boston Commons Holiday Tree Lighting 1983_. Mindy cradled the fabric, smoothing out the wrinkles along the edge.

"So, give away?" Danny asked, not noticing how Mindy was tracing the words with her finger.

She couldn't respond because of the tears in her eyes. Not looking up, she finally replied, "No, keep."

"Why? Is it your 'wet tshirt contest' winnings?" Danny asked teasingly.

Mindy shook her head. "No. It's a tshirt I got at the Boston Commons Holiday Tree Lighting. I used to go with my mom every year."

Danny instantly softened. "Oh, honey. I had no idea. I'm sorry, I never would've asked-"

"It's okay, I know," Mindy responded, still lost in the tshirt and its memories. She turned to Danny. "I was so little when we got this. I was swimming in it. Mom used to take a picture every year, and it always seemed to get bigger." She hugged the shirt to her chest, inhaling the scent of dust and detergent.

Danny smoothed Mindy's hair. "Well, obviously we're keeping that. I'll start putting everything in bags, and we can make a stop at Goodwill tomorrow." Danny started to stand.

Mindy grabbed his hand before he could make it too far, looking up at him. "Danny, I had an idea."

"Yeah?"

"I think we should have our kids take pictures in the shirt. You know, in commemoration."

Danny smiled. "That sounds great, babe. We can keep it in storage until then."

A smile peeked out from Mindy's lips. "Well, that may not be necessary."

Danny paused. "What? Why?"

Mindy was full-on beaming now. "Because we'll need it this time next year."

Danny froze. "What are you saying, Min?"

She stood up, tears now falling down her cheeks, but for a completely different reason. She looked up at Danny. "I'm pregnant! WE'RE HAVING A BABY!"

Danny's mouth opened in shock as he grabbed his wife and spun her around. "I'm gonna be a dad!" Mindy laughed, squealing in delight as he set her down and kissed every inch of her face. "Oh, God, I'm so happy Min! We're having a baby! We're finally gonna be a family!"

Mindy nodded, laughing between the tears. "The Castellahiris."

Danny beamed. "How far along are you?" His eyebrows furrowed. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Mindy reached out, smoothing the wrinkle between his eyebrows before cradling his face. "Four weeks along. I just heard back this morning. I wanted to get the blood test done before I told you. We've been trying for so long, Danny, and it's finally come true! We're gonna be parents!"

Danny kissed his wife again, ecstatic. "I can't wait. We've gotta get started on the baby room! We're gonna have to repaint it – do you want yellow? Or do you wanna find out the gender first? I'll get my Ma's rocking chair, no kid can resist falling asleep in that thing. I gotta call Richie, he can come help me baby-proof the place," Danny pushed his hair back, already sweating just thinking of it all.

Mindy grabbed his face, bringing him back to the here and now. "Babe, it's okay. We've got time. Almost eight months. It's okay. We've got time."

Danny nodded, smile almost splitting his cheeks. "I'm so happy, Min. I can't believe it. I love you so much." He kissed her deeply, wiping away her happy tears before pulling back.

"You know what I would love right now?" Mindy asked with a devious twinkle in her eye.

"You can have anything you want. Anything," Danny replied quickly.

Mindy laughed. "I should get pregnant more often!" Danny nodded emphatically, causing Mindy to laugh even more. She finally caught her breath enough to say: "Ice cream. I want more ice cream."

"Oh, no," Danny began, shaking his head already. "You're pregnant. We need to start watching what you eat. No more of this Peeps-for-breakfast crap."

Mindy stomped her foot. "Daniel Castellano! You are my husband and I am pregnant. You are supposed to get me food when I am craving it!"

Danny scoffed. "If you think I'm gonna facilitate your terrible diet, which will be feeding _our_ baby, mind you, you got another think coming!"

An hour later, Mindy was finishing off the carton of Phish Food while Danny was rubbing her feet, groaning at one of the jokes in _What To Expect When You're Expecting_.

_Happy Mother's Day to me_ , Mindy noted with satisfaction. Then she cranked up the volume, settling in for what would be one of many family movie nights.


	6. The Big Reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know this one-shot is FOREVER late. My apologies! I had the hardest time trying to come up with a scenario I really liked. So, here's my attempt at Father's Day! Enjoy!

"Okay, so we still need to pick up the balloons from the store and the cake from the bakery. You told them we needed it by 1, not 2, right?"

"Yes, babe, I told them," Danny rolled his eyes, leaning against the counter as Mindy continued to check items off her list. "Remind me again why we have to have an entire party just to tell people the gender of our baby?"

Mindy paused mid-check. "Because, Danny, we have to show everyone that we're gonna be cool parents. And Jennifer Anniston and Justin Theroux are having one for their little miracle, so we are too," she stated matter-of-factly. "Besides, it wouldn't be any fun to just show people the sonogram and let them guess!"

"It would be for my wallet," Danny grumbled, faking hurt as Mindy smacked him with her notepad. "And isn't a picture worth a thousand cupcakes?" He smirked.

"Oh, that reminds me, we have to pick up the bows and moustaches as well!" Mindy leaned in to give him a peck. "Thanks babe!"

"Any time," Danny sighed, giving into the superfluity of it all. He glanced at his watch. "We've got about four hours before the guests arrive. You wanna hit the road?"

"Yep, lemme just put on my face and I'll be ready to go." Mindy moved into their bathroom as Danny plopped down on the couch and turned on the game, knowing it would be another hour before they left.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

"Our baby is gonna be so stylish, Danny," Mindy announced, holding up a little ensemble on a hanger. "I already bought a couple outfits."

"And by a couple, do you mean ten?" Danny smirked.

"Hey! How'd you know?"

"You left the receipt on the kitchen counter," Danny chuckled, rubbing Mindy's back.

"Well, we can't have our little one looking like a hot mess," Mindy rationalized. "I'm just preparing."

"Of course you are, sweetie. I know you're excited."

"I am, Danny, I really am." She turned to him and beamed, surprising Danny by how her beauty surpassed the typical pregnancy glow. "I can't believe it's all really happening. I can't wait for everyone to know!"

"Me either." Danny smiled back, rubbing her arms before checking his watch again. "But if we don't head back soon, no one will be around to tell them."

"Okay, okay, I get it. Time to speed it up," Mindy rolled her eyes. "I've gotta go pee. I'll meet you by checkout."

"Okay, see you there." Danny gave her a peck on the cheek before pushing the cart down the aisle, smiling to himself.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

"I got him – or her – green and purple baby scrubs, cuz I didn't know which color would go better with your wardrobe," Morgan explained, handing a box to Mindy.

"Thanks, Morgan. I'm sure the baby will appreciate it as much as I do," she thanked him. "There's some food –" before she could finish her sentence, Morgan was already shaking hands with Mindy's parents, asking them for the emails in case of an emergency.

Mindy was just about to close the door and intervene when a thick palm slammed against it, stopping its path. "Ay bay bay," Peter greeted Mindy's stomach, stooping to rub it like a lamp. "Oh, yeah, that's a boy. I can feel it."

"Peter, you're a gynecologist. You know that we can't tell by touch alone," Mindy shook her head.

"Yeah? Well, I gots the magic hands," Peter replied, holding them up and blowing on them one at a time. "These babies have a better record than my March Madness bracket. And Papa won 15 bucks this season!"

"I'd prefer it if you didn't refer to yourself as 'Papa'," Danny interjected, coming over to the door. "Otherwise, this shindig could get confusing real fast."

"Alright, calm down, Godfather. Just sayin', buy yourself some Playboys now and save your son the inflation later."

"Beer's over by the fridge," Danny replied, dismissing Peter's advice. Peter wandered off in that direction, pausing to snag a bow-topped cupcake from the counter and wink at Mindy's cousin.

Danny surveyed the room and turned to his wife. "Well, it looks like things are going well. I think. I'm not exactly sure what a gender reveal party should look like."

Mindy laughed, rubbing his cheek. "The party's perfect. Thank you for helping me get everything ready today." She leaned in to give him a kiss.

"Eeew! Mommy, Mindy and Mr. Danny are being gross!" Riley squealed, running over to her mother. Gwen put her glass down on the table, picking her daughter up as she walked over to Mindy and Danny.

"Yes, honey, they were being very gross," she allowed, shaking her head as if to say, "kids".

"Don't worry, Riley, soon you'll have another little friend to run around and play with," Mindy smiled.

"No, it's just gonna be a baby. All they do is poop and sit there," Riley pouted, burying her face in her mother's chest.

"Alright, I think it's time for a nap," Gwen decided. "Can we use your guest room?"

"Yeah, of course," Danny replied. He and Mindy both watched as Gwen made her way through the small crowd towards the bedroom, bouncing Riley as she went.

"That's gonna be us soon, Danny," Mindy mused, staring at the now-closed door. "We're gonna be hauling car seats everywhere and refilling bottles and slinging diaper bags – ooh, remind there's one on sale at Carter's – "

"Woah there, car seats? As in, multiple?" Mindy nodded excitedly. "Alright, let's just make it through this pregnancy first. Then we can work on the others," Danny smirked, brushing a loose strand of hair behind his wife's ear.

"Alright, alright," Mindy allowed, turning back towards the party. "You think we should do the big reveal?"

"No time like the present."

"Okay, let's do it!" Mindy beamed, clapping her hands. "Attention everybody! Attention – Jeremy, the cake is still gonna be there when I finish talking. It's time for the big reveal! Are you all ready?" The small crowd cheered, Peter hollering and whooping as well.

Mindy nodded at Danny, who moved to the side of the room and lowered a binky-shaped piñata hanging from the ceiling. "Okay, so the way this works is that every guest gets to take a whack at the piñata. Whatever color is inside, that's the gender of our little one!" The cheers surged again. "So who wants to go first?"

"Oh me me me!" Morgan pushed his way to the front of the pack. "Dr. L, it would be my honor to whack your piñata."

"Okay, Morgan, as long as you never say it that way again." Mindy nodded, grabbing a bat from Danny and handing it to Morgan. "Let me back up first," she emphasized, "and then you go."

"I won't let you down!" Morgan replied, serious. He turned to the crowd, raising his arms. "Let's get some excitement in here!" Mindy and Danny's friends and family rallied in response, chanting Morgan's name as he wound up.

"Here…we…go!" He swung, missing the piñata entirely. The crowd's cheers died quickly into a chorus of disappointed "awww's".

"That's okay, man, you did a great job," Danny patted Morgan on the back. He held up the bat. "Alright, who's next?"

"I'll give it a go," Jeremy announced, handing his half-demolished slice of cake to Betsy. Wiping his hands on a napkin, he accepted the bat then swung, connecting neatly.

"Woo! Go Dr. Reed!" Betsy called, taking a forkful of cake before surrendering it to its rightful owner. Jeremy bowed, smug and impressed with himself.

"Lemme take a crack at it," Beverly insisted, stashing her plate of carrots in her purse.

"I dunno, Beverly, I wouldn't want you to throw out your back or anything – "

"Oh, hush. If I can win limbo night at Club 21, I can handle a little wooden stick." Mindy held up her hands and backed up, holding her stomach protectively. Beverly eyed the piñata, swinging low and hitting it perfectly. The sides split, dumping out piles of pink candy and confetti onto the floor.

"It's a girl! They're having a girl!" Betsy cried, tearing up. Mindy turned to Danny who was smiling ear-to-ear. He quickly regained his composure when he saw that she was looking.

"I guess this party wasn't such a bad idea," he allowed.

Mindy rolled her eyes, pecking him on the cheek. She turned to Beverly. "Beverly, where did you learn to hit like that?"

"Oh, that old move? I was in the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League for fifteen years. I've hit a ball or two in my day." Mindy laughed, giving her a hug before Beverly dove for the pile of candy on the floor.

"Dr. L, Dr. C, I am so glad you're having a girl. I've been thinking up some names, and I really think you're gonna like 'em. What do you think of Thelma? Now, listen, I know it sounds old-fashioned but – "

"Thanks, Morgan. We'll talk," Danny cut him off, patting him on the shoulder. "Why don't you go grab yourself some cake." Morgan agreed, stepping over towards the kitchen where Jeremy was now downing his third piece. Mindy and Danny followed after, joining their friends at the crowded counter.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

"Thanks for coming. Talk to you soon," Danny closed the door behind the last guest with finality. "Well, that's everybody." Mindy said something incoherent from her position on the couch, where she was stuffing her face with cake.

"Can I have a bite?" Danny asked, plopping down next to her and readily accepting her frosting-filled forkful. "Mmm. Good cake. Glad I thought of it," he teased, causing Mindy to smack him lightly on the shoulder.

"I'm glad you like it. You paid enough for it," she noted, smirking. She placed the empty plate on the cushion beside her, taking in the damage. "Oh god, Danny, there's so much confetti everywhere." She paused. "I love it."

Danny laughed at her beaming face. "Yeah, we've got our work cut out for us." He stood up, holding out his hands to help her to her feet. "But, we can save it for later."

"For later?" Mindy asked.

"Mhm. Right now, I think we better start practicing for those other car seats."

Mindy giggled, jumping as Danny smacked her butt and followed her through the confetti and into their bedroom.


	7. Lucky Number 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just copied and pasted from the other separate post, but I wanted it to be in here for the collection's sake. This was originally written as a happy bday drabble for alittlenutjob, but given the theme, I thought it was appropriate for the series! Enjoy!

“Danny you’re up next!” Mindy nodded appreciatively as one of the models walked by sporting a doctor’s lab coat and some _very_ tight underwear. This charity calendar shoot was the best thing to happen to New York’s finest (OBGYNs, that is) since the invention of the stirrups. Mindy had been aggressive in volunteering to coordinate the shoot and was now gladly reaping the benefits of her selfless efforts. 

“Oh no, I’m not doin’ this! I’m out!” Danny protested from behind the curtains. Mindy groaned and reluctantly turned away from the parade of hot men to address the situation.

“Danny, we can’t finish the shoot without you. You know Trevor got the flu and backed out. No one wants to see a sick doctor! It’s like seeing Kim Kardashian in sweats.”

“I don’t care what Kim Kardwho wears in her free time. All I know is I’m not gonna stand there and have my picture taken in this so-called _outfit_ that barely fits!” 

Mindy could hear fabric rustling in the background amidst Danny’s groans. She moved a little closer to the curtains. “Okay, Danny, let’s be honest. I want to see you in a speedo about as much as you do, but for some freakish reason, the pregnant women of New York rated you the 13th most attractive OBGYN. That means that you could help make a change with this shoot! Well, other than forever changing my view of you, I mean.”

Danny sighed. “Fine. Whatever. I’ll do the stupid shoot. But you gotta make sure it’s only me and the photographer, alright?”

Mindy rolled her eyes. “Yes, Divo, I will. Except for one teensy thing.”

“What?” Mindy could practically _hear_ Danny scowling.

“I have to be in the room too. I’m the coordinator, I have to make sure that we get the shot.”

“Oh, come on! Can’t you just trust the photographer to do his job?!”

“No, Danny, I can’t! I’m not gonna let a bad photo of you ruin my rep with the other hot docs. You’re just gonna have to suck it up. We’re doctors. We can be professional.”

“Whatever.” Mindy heard grumbling as she scooted away from the curtains, waiting for Danny to come out. Finally, the curtains peeled back as Danny revealed himself.

Mindy stifled a giggle.

“Don’t. You. Dare.” 

“It looks really good, I mean –“ Mindy stopped mid-sentence, breaking into a fit of laughter. “The star is just so strategically placed.”

Danny glanced down at his speedo, covering himself with his hands. “Hey! Stop looking! Where do they even make Fourth-of-July themed speedos, for Christ’s sake?”

Mindy shook her head. “I have no idea, but remind me to send them a thank you note later.” She giggled. 

“Alright, that’s enough. Let’s get this over with. I have to go to church and bathe myself in holy water after.” 

Mindy tried to control her laughter as she led Danny over to the photographer. “Michael, this is Danny. He’s our model for July.”

“Great. Nice to meet you man.” Michael stuck out his hand. 

Danny awkwardly shuffled, deciding to move one hand to shake Michael’s and still cover his goods. “Alright. So, uh, where do you want me?”

“Let’s get some basic shots first. Can you just stand in the middle for me?”

Danny cleared his throat, shifting from foot to foot in front of the camera. “This, uh, this good?”

“Yeah, great. Now could you flex?”

“Uh, sure.” Danny folded his arms, looking unsure. 

“I know you got more than that, Danny. Can you give me the gun show? Some side action?” 

Danny cringed, glancing at Mindy who was stifling her laughter with her clipboard. He turned sideways, sighing and posing like the typical body builder. “There. That good?”

“Oh, that’s great. Just like that. Mindy, can we get some props?”

“Props?” Danny froze, looking worriedly between Michael and Mindy. “Isn’t the getup enough?”

“You know these women. They like cutesy stuff,” Michael shrugged, smiling as Mindy returned with her arms full of red, white and blue items. “Awesome. Let’s give Danny the hat,” Mindy obliged, tapping it onto the top of Danny’s head, “and the apron and some grilling tools. Oh, that’s gonna be great. Alright Danny, give me your tough-guy look.”

Danny shrugged, looking to Mindy for help. She nodded back, motioning for him to raise his chest and stick out his chin. Danny followed suit, crossing his arms with the tools paralleling. 

“Yes, Danny! That’s perfect! Now show me your tools!” 

Danny looked panicked for a second before Mindy gestured to the spatula in his hand. He nodded in comprehension, holding it out towards the camera. 

“Okay, now gimme some of that classic Italian smolder.” Danny narrowed his eyes, appeasing him. “Okay, just one last idea. Can I get that firecracker, Mindy?”

Mindy clapped, obviously excited for this idea. She handed it to Danny, who fiddled with it, confused. “What do you want me to do with it?”

“Let’s be adults here, Danny,” Michael began, giving Mindy a knowing look. “These women are hormonal and ready to pop. Get a little creative.”

Danny tried to hold it out towards the camera again, but Michael stood up, shaking his hand. “Let me be a little clearer. Hold the firecracker… _strategically_.” 

Danny’s mouth opened as it dawned on him. “I dunno man, don’t you think that’s kinda…raunchy?”

“Gotta give the customers what they want,” Michael shrugged, ducking back down behind the camera. “Come on. Just one more shot, and then you can go.”

Danny sighed, holding the firecracker as instructed. Michael snapped away and then stood up. “Great job, man. Thanks for doing this. You have a good night.”

“Yeah, you too,” Danny nodded, practically running off the set. 

Mindy stopped him along the way, hardly containing her laughter. “Have fun, Casanova?”

“Oh, loads,” Danny replied sarcastically. “Now would you let me change? I’ve gotta go destroy every firecracker in town.”

Mindy cackled as he scooted behind the curtains, checking his name off the list. “Well, that’s the last of the shoots.”

“Good. I’m glad that no one else has to be subjected to that torture.” 

Mindy laughed, patting him on the back. “Alright, Mr. July. Let’s get you a _real_ hamburger.” And with that, they left the studio, Danny tossing the speedo in the trash as they exited.


	8. Let's Go to the Beach, Beach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi! I know it's been *forever*. It's been a crazy crazy semester but I finally had a Saturday to myself and decided to try and make up some of the holidays I'm behind on! I hope you enjoy, it's my warm-up back into writing (hopefully)! xoxo

"Hello? Anybody there?" Mindy called out, creeping through the office with umbrella and ready to jab. "I know you're here! As long as you let me get in and out my office alive, you can totally take whatever you want! One of my coworkers has a really valuable signed poster of Frank Sinatra in his office!"

"You'd really throw my stuff under the bus like that?"

Mindy screamed and chucked the umbrella at Danny, who chuckled as it ineffectually hit him and dropped to the ground.

"Danny?! What are you doing here?"

"Apparently losing my most prized possession," he replied, giving Mindy an accusatory glare.

Mindy rolled her eyes. "Only _theoretically_." She shook off her fright and unlocked her office door. Danny followed in after her.

"But really, Danny, why are you here? It's Labor Day. You know, the one where you're not supposed to work?"

Danny shook his head. "The people who really deserve the day off are our service workers. But since cashiers and police officers don't get a break, neither do I. And anyways, what are _you_ doing here if this is such a 'sacred' holiday?"

"Forgot my sunglasses. Can't have a beach trip without sunnies!" Mindy held up the fluorescent pair, smiling.

"Whatever you say," Danny smirked. "I better get back to work. Lots of paperwork to go through."

"Danny, come on! Give yourself a break. Leave the paperwork for another day."

"I dunno, there's this one file that's really –"

"Danny." Mindy interrupted. "I know you had four deliveries this week, two of them in the wee hours of the morning. You deserve a day off."

Danny grimaced, knowing he was caught. He really was exhausted. He'd already fallen asleep on top of his files twice, and it was only 10 AM.

He conceded. "Alright, fine, you win. I'll go home and watch some TV."

"Oh no you won't," Mindy replied. "You're coming to the beach with me and Gwen and her family."

"Mindy, I don't know if that's really poli-"

"It's done! I was texting Gwen while you were talking and she said it's fine." Mindy smiled victoriously. She held up her phone for proof.

"You know it's rude to text while talking to someone," Danny chastised her. He sighed. "But I'll go, since you already asked and Gwen was kind enough to say yes."

"Good. Grab whatever you need from home and meet me at my place in an hour. Sound good?"

Danny nodded.

"And no speedos," Mindy added.

"I wasn't gonna wear a -"

Mindy held up a cautioning finger.

"Fine. No speedos," Danny agreed, a peek of a smile creeping out from under his frown. "Lemme just lock up."

The two doctors exited the office, Mindy already planning what snacks Danny should bring.

* * *

"Gwen, Carl, Riley, you remember Danny," Mindy motioned as she climbed into their minivan.

"You're the old man who hurt my mommy!" Riley glared from her car seat as Danny waited for Mindy to get situated.

"I wouldn't say I _hurt_ her, I mean it wasn't on purpose – ow!" Danny shot Mindy a look and rubbed his arm. "But yes, that's me, and I'm very sorry about the bunk bed." Riley continued her glare, unphased.

"Hi Danny," Gwen called from the front.

"Hey Gwen," Danny replied, crouching to get to his own seat. "Carl, nice to see you man," Danny stuck his hand between the front two seats for an awkward shake. "Thanks again for letting me come along on your trip," he added as he wedged himself into the back.

"No problem. When Mindy said you were sitting all alone in the office, wasting away your years – "

Danny glared at Mindy, who shrugged innocently. "I wouldn't say it was anything that drastic. But I am appreciative for the chance to get away for a day."

"Well we're glad to have you. Shouldn't be too long of a drive." Gwen turned around to check. "Everybody got their seatbelts on? Alright, then we're off!"

"Here we are, Jones Beach!" Gwen announced, climbing out of the car to unbuckle Riley.

Danny stretched, trying to rub the crick out of his neck.

"Something wrong, Danny?" Mindy asked, smirking. "You throw your back out already?"

"No, I just forgot how low the ceilings in vans are. It's been a long time since I've been in the back of a van for an extended period of time." Mindy's eyes went wide and Danny started sputtering. "You know what I mean! Aw, come on. Wipe that look off your face."

Mindy held up her hands. "I only react." She smirked again, clambering out of the car. Danny groaned and followed after her.

"You ever been here before?" Carl asked Danny as they unpacked the trunk.

"I think once or twice when I was little. We were more of a Coney Island family."

"Makes sense." Carl lifted the cooler out of the back.

"Here, I got it," Danny grabbed it from him. "That the last of it?"

"Should be," Carl replied. "Don't have anything left in the house to bring," he rolled his eyes. Danny chuckled.

"It's a bit crowded as expected, but I think I can get us a good spot." Gwen took to the beach, determined, Riley following quickly after her. In no time, Gwen had found a little section of sand for them right by the water. "Alright, this is home base! Spread out as much as you can, we don't need any college kids taking over. They'll try the Frisbee trick." Mindy and Gwen exchanged a knowing look. Carl and Danny looked at each other, confused, but decided it was best not to ask.

"You ready to go in the water, Riley?" Mindy asked, taking off her floppy hat and braiding her hair so it wouldn't get so knotted in the water.

"No, I have to put on sunscreen and wait fifteen minutes before I can go in!" Riley replied.

"Good girl," Gwen beamed, coming over to apply SPF 50 to Riley's back.

Mindy shook her head. "Oh that's just excessive. Wait five and you should be good."

Riley cheered, jumping in anticipation. Before the adults had even finished laying out their towels, she was in the water.

"So much for five minutes," Gwen shook her head, chasing after. "Riley! Riley honey, don't go too deep!"

Mindy shrugged and followed suit, throwing her sundress behind her as she charged for the shore.

* * *

Half an hour later, Danny looks up to see a wet Mindy dripping onto his copy of _Lonesome Dove_.

"Danny, why aren't you coming into the water? It feels great!"

"I'm reading my book right now. I'll be in soon."

"Mmm…how about right now?" Mindy grabbed his hand, pulling him behind her as she ran back to the waves. Knowing it was fruitless to resist, Danny shook his head and allowed himself to be led into the water.

"Danny! You finally made it out!" Gwen smiled.

"Sure did." He paused. "Hey!" Danny turned around as another splash of water hit his back. Riley giggled deviously, splashing him again. "Oh, is that how you wanna play?" Danny asked.

Riley's eyes went wide, realizing the bear she had just awakened. She squealed, trying to swim away from Danny, but he was too fast. He dove under the water and scooped her up in his arms.

"Splashing me wasn't very nice," he told her playfully as he waded out to deeper water. Riley just stared at him, trying to wiggle out of his arms. "But since you like water so much…" he smiled. "One, two, three!" He threw her out into the water, Riley squealing as she flew through the air. Quickly, she came back up, nose pinched.

"Again! Again!" She demanded.

Danny chuckled, starting to swim towards her. "I'm gonna get ya!" Riley screamed and swam away as they started their new game. Carl chased after them, wanting to join in.

"It's good to see Danny having fun," Gwen noted as she and Mindy watched the three of them play in the waves.

"It's weird to see him smile so much," Mindy replied. "But good. It makes me think he's not a total grump."

"He's not. You don't let him be," Gwen smiled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing. Just that I think there's potential for you two."

"For what? A volcanic eruption?"

"You know what I mean, Mindy," Gwen replied. "And don't pretend like you haven't thought about it," she interrupted before Mindy could get the words out. "I know you, and that means I know how you automatically assess the dating potential of every guy you meet. And I'm telling you, Danny scores high."

Mindy sighed. "Fine, yes, I have thought about it. I mean, he's handsome in that old George Clooney way, and he's good with Riley, now that she's given up her vendetta." A squeal in the distance confirmed Mindy's point. "But the emotional isolation and everything, I don't think I could do that." Mindy sighed. "No, Danny's better as a friend." Gwen gave her a look. "For now, at least."

"For now," Gwen smirked. She stood up in the water. "Riley, honey, you hungry?" she called.

"Food!" Riley cried, laughing as Carl picked her up and ran her to the shore. Gwen smiled, following after.

"Glad to see you and Gwen got some time to catch up," Danny remarked as he came up alongside Mindy.

"Me too. I never get to see her anymore. We're both so busy."

"Well, sometimes you just need someone to force you out of the office," Danny replied with a smirk. "Come on, I bet you're starved. Let's go get some food."

Together they trudged up to their towels, drying off and sitting down to ham and cheese sandwiches with iced tea.

* * *

"Alright Riley, time to go home. Help Mommy pick up all your toys."

Riley stood up and dusted herself off, obediently gathering the water balls and noodle and trucks and buckets in front of her sand castle. "Look Mommy! Look what Danny and I did!"

"Oh, honey, it's gorgeous. You did a good job!"

"I did the towers and Danny did the moat."

"Oh, is that a little Lego prince in there? Let me see-" Mindy cried as she tripped over one of Riley's toys, accidentally kicking part of Riley's sand castle. Mindy gasped. "Oh Riley, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to –"

Riley screamed, folding her arms and running to her mother. Gwen just shrugged, helpless.

Mindy shook her head as Danny stood up and dusted himself off. "Well, looks like it was a successful day for you. You got Riley to turn against me."

Danny smirked. "Oh no, I can't take credit for that. You did it all by yourself." He paused. "But I can't say it wasn't fun to watch."

"Oh whatever. Riley's emotions bounce back like a reality star's. I'll be back in her good graces in no time."

Danny rolled his eyes, reaching around Mindy to begin packing up his own stuff. After all had been accounted for, the little group started to make their way back to the car.

* * *

"Did you have a good time, Riley?" Gwen asked from the front seat. The sun was setting on their drive home, painting a beautiful picture to the end of their day.

"Yeah! I liked playing with Danny and Daddy. It was great until Mindy ruined my sandcastle," she added bitterly.

"Oh for crying out loud! The tide would've ruined it in a couple hours anyway!" Mindy cried. Riley remained unmoved. "If I let you play with my phone, will you forgive me?" The little girl brightened quickly, beaming as Mindy handed her the phone. Danny rolled his eyes.

"Well I for one think it was a nice day," Gwen said. "Thanks for coming with us, Danny."

"Thank you for inviting me," he replied. "I really enjoyed myself. Maybe we can go again next year."

"Maybe we can," Gwen smirked at Mindy.

"Oh thank God, we're here," Mindy cried as they pulled up to the Grandy's. "Gwen, Carl, it was great to see you," she said as she climbed out of the van. "Riley, glad to see you're working on your boogeyboarding skills. And I need my phone back," Mindy added, holding out her hand. Riley handed it back begrudgingly as Gwen unbuckled her.

"Alright, make sure you got everything you brought," Carl reminded Danny as he closed the trunk.

Danny held up his gym bag and motioned to Mindy's two gigantic totes. "I think we got it all. If not, Mindy can survive with a few less things."

"No I cannot!" Mindy cried, grabbing her bags protectively. She softened. "But thanks again for inviting us. We'll see you guys soon."

"Bye Mindy!" Gwen waved as Mindy backed her car out of the driveway.

They hadn't even made it to the highway before Danny was fast asleep. Mindy smiled, driving them home and for once singing along quietly with the radio.


	9. The Monster Mash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been rewatching season 2 this week so here is the fruit of that labor!

* * *

"Mindy, isn't your costume a littler, er, inappropriate for the club?" Peter asked as they waited at the bar for their drinks. It was Halloween night and the dance floor was flooded with busy bees, nurses, cops, and the like. The club had even invested in a smoke machine, making it nearly impossible to tell a zombie from a witch. 

Mindy rolled her eyes. "All I had to do was hitch up my skirt a little and they let me in. Amateurs," she smirked.

"What _are_ you hiding under that housewife outfit? Is this another man trap? Because if so, all you need is a sandwich and I'm sure you'll find a guy in no time."

Mindy whacked Peter on the arm. "No, Peter! I'm Sexy Lucille Ball! Of _I Love Lucy_ fame?" She pointed to her red wig, Peter shrugging helplessly. "I swear, this city can be so uncultured." Mindy shook her head. "I took some artistic liberties with Lucy's typical dress and sexed it up a little. So sue me."

"Tempting…how about this. I'll bet you twenty bucks you can't get a guy's number in that outfit. Fellas are on the prowl for some spandex and fishnets, not aprons and checkered print."

Mindy narrowed her eyes. "Fine. You're on. I'll show you what Lucy can do." Peter scoffed, disbelieving. Mindy ticked her head towards the dance floor. "Shall we?"

"Let the grindin' games begin."

Mindy downed the rest of her ghoulish-green cocktail and started shimmying her way through the crowd. Peter followed after, shimmying as well.

It wasn't long before Mindy had spotted her first target: a cute Superman with the perfect curled hair on his forehead. Mindy sauntered over to him, trying to pass off her struggle to get through the mass of people as sexy dancing. Finally, she reached him. Mindy swiveled her hips in time with the music, flipping her skirt out just a bit. It only took a quick glance over her shoulder to see she'd already caught her own superhero.

Mindy sidled up to Clark Kent and pulled him down by his collar to whisper in his ear. "So, you wanna be my kryptonite?"

"Well, which kind?" He replied. "There's Red Kryptonite, which just weakens Superman slightly, or Gold Kryptonite, which takes away a superhero's powers…"

"No, no," Mindy replied, quickly backing away and shaking her head.

"But I thought –"

"I'm sorry, just no," Mindy winced. So, superheroes were a no-go. Who next? She turned around and scanned the crowd for inspiration. Her eyes landed on a doctor by the bar who was chatting up some mouse or cat, something unoriginal. Mindy rolled her eyes. Time to fulfill Fran Drescher's dreams and get herself a doctor.

Mindy scooted across the dance floor, only having to pause twice to unleash her dress from someone's sequined monstrosity. _Truly, the unoriginality these days is astounding_ , Mindy sighed.

She had just pondered 'Accidentally' spilling a drink on someone's "ghost" costume when she bumped into the doctor.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" She feigned surprise. "Didn't see you there."

""Salright," the voice behind the surgeon's mask replied. "Pretty crowded in here tonight."

"I'll say," Mindy replied, squinting. She could only see the doctor's eyes, and even then it was too dark to see much in the way of looks. She did happen to notice that he was pushing the seams on the sleeves of his scrubs, however. Mindy glanced down appreciatively at his arms and then smiled up at him.

"So…Lucy?" The doctor asked, gesturing to Mindy's getup.

Mindy beamed. "Yes! Thank you! No one else has gotten it all night!"

The doctor shrugged. "My family used to watch reruns late at night. I'd know that hair anywhere. Nice job with the dress, too. Modern take, I see."

Mindy smirked. "She always was a modern girl. I don't think Lucy would mind."

"Well, she's not the only one," the doctor replied. Mindy could see his eyes slide up and down her body. He nodded towards the crowd. "You wanna dance?"

"Sure." Mindy batted her eyelashes, smiling sexily.

The doctor pulled Mindy through the crowd and onto the floor. Mindy started out slow, one hand in the air as she danced in time with the music. The doctor pulled her close, rolling his body in ways Mindy couldn't help but compare to Magic Mike.

He must've noticed her staring, because suddenly he pulled Mindy up against him, his hands on her hips. It didn't take them long to find a rhythm.

 _Damn, he's good!_ Mindy thought, appreciating the way he swished her hips rather than just the standard back-and-forth most guys tried for. Mindy reached up and ran her hands through his hair, which only encouraged him to swish harder. He spun Mindy out a little, watching as she danced on her own. He took a hand and slid it around her stomach as he spun around her, never once losing contact. Mindy grabbed his hand, stopping him so they were facing each other. The doctor's eyes crinkled again, understanding. He consented, grabbing her hips so that they could rock together. Mindy was amazed at how he could do something simple so well.

She'd almost forgotten about the bet until she saw Peter over the doctor's shoulder, giving her a thumbs up. Mindy pulled back to look up at her partner. She stopped dancing and stood up on her toes. "You wanna go somewhere?" she asked.

The doctor nodded. Mindy grabbed his hand, pulling him behind her as she fought the crowd. It didn't take too long to find a shadowy corner – Mindy had to scare away a couple of Miley Cyruses, but could not appreciate the secluded location more.

Gently, the doctor pushed her up against the wall. Mindy sighed breathily, closing her eyes as the doctor's hand's rubbed up and down her sides. She assumed he'd removed his mask because in no time, soft lips were kissing the hollow of her throat. Mindy could barely breathe, and the way the doctor's arms were tightening around her was not helping. Mindy couldn't wait. She pulled him from his work on her neck up to her level, reveling in the way he nipped at her bottom lip. Then he rubbed circles in the small of her back, which only made Mindy's knees buckle even more. Sensing her stability weaken, the doctor grabbed her ass, lifting her so she could wrap her legs around him. Mindy squealed at the fluidity of the movement, eyes flying open as a strobe light flashed across his face and she finally saw her doctor for the first time that night.

"Danny?!"

"Mindy?!" Danny dropped her in his surprise. Mindy winced, rubbing the back of her head where she'd banged it against the wall. _Not unlike you were close to doing_ , she thought. She quickly shook off the idea. "What the hell are you doing here? Oh God!"

"What the hell are _you_ doing here? You never come to clubs! You should be at home, being the grumpy old man who gives out healthy snacks for Halloween!"

"I ran out of boxes of raisins!" Danny cried. "And I'm allowed to have some fun!"

"No, you're not!" Mindy replied. "Not when 'fun' is dressing up like a sexy doctor! God, you didn't have any other costume you could wear? I'm sure you've got a bathrobe and some slippers somewhere at home."

"Oh come on! It was all I had. I can't help that my scrubs run small."

"A little too small, if you ask me," Mindy coughed, averting her eyes from Danny's bottom half.

"I can't believe you!" Danny shouted, covering himself. "Who even comes to the club dressed up as _Lucille Ball_?"

"You sure didn't seem to mind a couple minutes ago, buddy!"

She had him there. Danny groaned, leaning up against the wall.

"Oh my GAWD. Mindy, you were mackin' on _Danny_!?" Peter guffawed as he walked up the two. "You set your goals _high_. You deserve the twenty. I don't even care if you 'got his number', if ya know what I mean," Peter winked. Mindy and Danny both cringed. "I would stay and ask for the gross, hi-larious deets, but there's a nun out there who wants to repent her ways." Peter wiggled his eyebrows. Mindy gagged as moved away, back towards the floor.

Mindy started to giggle.

"What?" Danny asked, confused.

"This is so ridiculous. I can't believe _you_ were the doctor."

"Yeah, well." Danny shrugged.

Mindy smiled. "We were pretty hot there, weren't we?"

Danny rolled his eyes. "Eh, you were alright." Mindy punched him in the arm. "Ow! Fine, yes, you were…good." Danny allowed, lowering his eyes to the floor on the last word.

"Thank you," Mindy smirked. "You weren't so bad yourself."

Danny smirked in reply. He sighed, standing up from against the wall. "You wanna go get a pie?"

"Is Taylor Swift's new album the second coming?"

"What?"

"Nevermind. Yes, let's go get some pizza. I'm starving. The only food I've had all night was chocolate I brought so I could reenact the chocolate factory scene from the show." Danny shook his head, chuckling. Mindy stood up and pulled the twenty dollar bill out of her dress. "Food's on me!"

Danny shook his head. "Oh no, you're not paying with your - your _hooker_ money!"

Mindy opened her mouth in offense. "Excuse you, you helped earn this!" Danny groaned, raking his hand down his face. "And we're getting _all_ possible kinds of meat."

Danny just shook his head, holding the door open for her. Mindy walked out onto the street, waiting for him to follow.

"I know a place nearby. Let's cross here," Danny pointed, placing a hand in the small of Mindy's back to guide her. She turned slightly, glancing up at Danny quickly. He coughed a little, quickly pulling his hand back. Mindy already missed the electricity of his touch.

"You okay? You look kinda strange."

"Mhm," Mindy nodded.

Danny turned so that they were now walking side by side. Mindy glanced down at Danny's fingers, noticing how close hers were. She looked straight ahead, brushing the tips of his fingers with hers. Danny ticked his head at her. He brushed back, and Mindy stopped in the street.

"Listen, Danny – "

"Yeah?" He interrupted, voice soft.

"Let's wear our costumes for a little longer. Okay?"

Danny nodded.

Mindy gulped, pulling him in the direction of her apartment. Just tonight. Maybe. _After all_ , she thought, _we are what we pretend to be._ _Lucy, I'm home._


	10. The Ricardos - Halloween Bonus Chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: Hi everyone! I don't know about you but I am SO DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY that we get 6 more eps! Yay! So in celebration, I'm posting a bonus Halloween chapter. As you will see, there are a lot of similarities between this version and the Monster Mash version, because the former spawned the latter. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!  
> **

* * *

"Danny! Where's your costume?" Mindy opened the door, party continuing on behind her in her apartment.

Danny shrugged. "Didn't have time to buy one. Plus it's stupid, you waste all this money on a one-time thing. I could put that towards more important stuff, like a new stirring paddle for my new Snickerdoodle Brew."

Mindy rolled her eyes. "Believe me, you'd still be wasting the dough." Danny shook his head. "You totally could've come as the Hulk. You've got that whole sweaty, angry-til-you-turn-green-in-the-face thing going on. Yeah, kinda like that!" Mindy pointed, pulling her hand back when she registered Danny's huffing. "Guess it's too late now. Come on in," she gestured, holding the door wide.

Danny entered the apartment. "What are you supposed to be anyway?"

"Lucille Ball!" Mindy points to her red wig. "I even have a pocket full of chocolates so I can reenact the chocolate factory scene." She held one up, popping it in her mouth and smiling. "Danny, how could you not recognize my costume! Wasn't _I Love Lucy_ the foundation of your childhood?"

"Oh come on, you know I wasn't even born yet!"

"All I'm saying is you keep 'forgetting' to show me your birth certificate," Mindy countered. Danny scoffed. "Come on, let's go get something to drink. I could use a little something to liven up this party." Mindy pulled Danny over to the kitchen counter, pouring out two cocktails. Danny accepted the glass, handing it off to Morgan before reaching around Mindy for the bottle of whiskey.

"Alright, Lucy and Ricky! Classic!" Someone Danny had never seen before walked up and held out his fist to bump. Danny returned the gesture, confused.

"Ricky? What? I'm not…"

Mindy stomped her foot. "Dammit, Danny! Why do you have to be so racially ambiguous!"

Danny held out his arms helplessly. "I didn't do anything!"

Mindy glared. "You look just like Desi Arnaz! Since when do you wear a tie and suit jacket to work? Your hair's all pouffed up, too!"

"So sue me for trying to look nice! Jeez, can't a guy catch a break? I can't help that my hair just has a natural wave."

Mindy groaned. "Great, just great. Now everyone's gonna think we planned this."

Danny scoffed. "Oh please, like this is any better for me." He shook his head. "Don't you have any clean scrubs I could borrow? I could be a doctor…although the v-neck might be a bit much for the ladies to handle," he smirked.

"I'm gonna ignore that delusion and focus on the real issue at hand. Just, undo your tie and shag up your hair a little, then you won't look so much like him."

Danny shook his head. "No, my hair is fine. We'll just tell people we're not…it's not a couple's costume."

"Just let me fix it for you." Mindy looked determined.

"Oh no you don't," Danny began to back away. Mindy pursued, causing Danny to back into the couch. "Min, just leave it –"

But he was too late. Mindy's hands were already in his hair, fluffing and teasing. "Mindy, come on, stop," he griped, batting away her hands.

"Danny, just one more second –Ahhh!" Mindy cried as both she and Danny tumbled over the side of the couch. The party paused to stare, applauding as the two stood up and dusted themselves off.

"Lucy! Ricky! Lucy! Ricky!" The crowd cheered, Mindy pretending to be embarrassed but really basking in the sunlight.

Danny huffed, walking away from the crowd. "Hey man, great scene! Did you guys practice that?" Another stranger stopped Danny on his way to the drinks. Danny grunted no and brushed him off, opting for the solace of Mindy's empty bathroom.

"Danny?" Danny heard a timid knock on the door a few seconds later, ignoring Mindy's voice. "Danny, I'm coming in. You have three seconds to fix yourself, just in case you really are peeing. One, two…" Mindy opened the door.

Danny just glared at her, leaning up against the glass door of her shower.

Mindy sighed. "Danny, I'm sorry. I know how you are about your personal space, especially because your father left you at such a young age and you never had him around to ruffle your hair –"

"Mindy, stop." Danny interrupted. "It's fine. Whatever. Just forget it." He started to move around her, back towards the party.

Mindy put a hand on his arm to stop him. "Danny, please, I really am sorry." She glanced down at the floor. "You know, you're not the only one embarrassed. I invited this guy Travis tonight and he hasn't shown. He was supposed to be my Ricky." Mindy glanced up at Danny, whose expression had softened. "I got stood up." She plopped down on the toilet, head in hands.

"Aw, come on, Min," Danny sighed, rubbing one of her shoulders. "He's probably out finding Ethel and Fred."

"Aha! I knew you watched it!"

"Whatever," Danny yielded. "Point is, you look great by yourself. You don't need a Ricky."

Mindy shook her head. "Danny, what kind of person plans a couples costume without actually being part of a couple? I am so pathetic."

Danny sat down on the edge of the tub. "Now it's not something _I_ would do, but I don't think it was all that crazy of you." Mindy glanced up in shock. "For once," Danny added.

"I just wanted to be part of a duo so badly, Danny. I've _never_ had a boyfriend to match with for Halloween parties. I would watch all my friends be Danny and Sandy's, Aladdin and Jasmine's, even Brangelina. Don't ask how, they could just pull it off," Mindy explained, seeing Danny's confusion. "The point is, no one's ever been on my team. I've had years of Britney with no KFed." Tears started to form in the corner of her eyes and she dropped her head to her knees.

Danny sighed. "Fine, I'll do it."

Mindy looked up, lipstick smudged. "Really?"

"Yes, I'll be Ricky," Danny conceded, wiping the lipstick with his thumb. "But only because I can't stand to see such a great show be misrepresented," he continued. "Look, everyone thought the couch thing was a joke, so let's just go out and have fun. I'm sure everyone's forgotten it by now anyway. They're all too drunk to remember, from what I saw."

Mindy hopped off the toilet seat. "Come on, they're gonna take all the good booze! We have to get some before it's all gone!" She grabbed Danny's hand, pausing at the mirror only for a split second to double-check her wig.

 _Priorities_ , Danny chuckled, following after as Mindy tugged on his hand.

"Alright, time for the costume competition to begin!" Jeremy announced, standing on Mindy's stairs with the microphone. "However elicits the most applause wins. Winners get a trophy that says…'Participation – Adult 25 Meter Freestyle'? Morgan!"

"Hey! You said it had to be something meaningful!" Morgan shouted back, looking adorable in his puppy costume.

Jeremy groaned. "Well, I guess this'll have to do. If you win the costume contest, you get… _this_ ," he rolled his eyes, holding up the trophy. "So, who shall go first?"

"I will!" Betsy raised her hand, running up to the stairs. She took the mic from Jeremy, curtsying and holding out her lavish dress. "Hi everyone, I'm Catherine Bennett, from Pride and Prejudice. I sewed this gown myself, it took me 20 hours but I think it was wo– "

"Enough of that snoozefest, let's hear it for God's Gift To Women!" Peter cheered, jumping onto the step below Betsy. The crowd remained silent except for Peter's frat brothers, who were wearing matching gift boxes.

Danny glanced at Mindy, who was watching the festivities, enraptured. He nudged her shoulder with his. "So, you wanna go next?"

Mindy feigned nonchalance. "I dunno, I mean it's my party so wouldn't that be ill-manner-" Danny cut her off with an eyeroll. Mindy smiled triumphantly, knowing she didn't have to pretend. "Jeremy, we're going next!" Mindy called, once again dragging Danny behind her as she towed him up to the steps.

"So, who do we have here?"

"Lucy and Ricky!" Mindy smiled, jabbing Danny in the stomach with her elbow.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"Put your arm around me! You're supposed to be my doting husband!"

"Trouble in paradise?" Jeremy asked, voice booming over the microphone.

"Nope, no trouble here, just the classic comedy couple," Mindy smiled, beaming as Danny wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. Mindy could smell his cologne, or deodorant, or whatever it was, and had to keep herself from burying her nose in his collar.

"Yep. This woman, she gets on my nerves but God if I don't love her," Danny smirked, rubbing Mindy's back.

"What a sweet couple's costume," Jeremy agreed. "So, let's hear it for the Ricardos!" The small crowd applauded, Mindy basking in the attention and Danny basking in her happiness.

Mindy grabbed the mic from Jeremy. "Oh, look at that! Looks like a unanimous vote! Lucy and Ricky win!" Mindy snatched the trophy from Jeremy, waving to the already-distracted crowd until Danny pulled her down from the ledge.

"Uh, Dr. L, can I get that trophy back? It's really important to me," Morgan stopped the two doctors on their way to the kitchen.

"No, sorry, I won it," Mindy replied, a hand to his shoulder.

"Can't fight that logic." Morgan shrugged, nodding in agreement before walking back over to Beverly.

Danny smirked. "So, are you happy? You won a contest in a couples' costume."

Mindy nodded. "Thank you, Danny. I really appreciate it." She squeezed his hand with a small smile meant just for him.

"You're welcome."

Mindy turned to him with a twinkle in her eye. "Hey Danny?"

"Mhm?" he answered through a mouthful of chips and dip.

"If you're Ricky, and I'm Lucy, doesn't that mean that you're gonna help clean up after the party?" She held her fingers crossed.

"Oh, no! This is your shindig!"

"But you know I'm useless at housewife stuff! I can't help my costume," Mindy batted her eyelashes.

"Oh, I don't think that's the costume's fault," Danny smirked. Mindy smacked him in the shoulder. "We'll see," he amended, rubbing the spot where she'd hit him.

"Thank you." Mindy smiled, knowing she had won.

Finally, at around 2 AM, the last of Peter and his frat brothers had been shoved out the door with a taxi waiting to pick them up. Mindy collapsed on the couch as Danny put cups in a trashbag, batting at the cobwebs that kept getting stuck in his hair. After the area had been decently cleaned up, he plopped down next to Mindy.

"So, you have a good time?"

Mindy nodded. "Mhm."

"Oh, a two-syllable answer. What's the matter, someone eat all the candy corn?"

Mindy peeked out from behind her wig. "Travis never showed."

"Ah." Danny sighed. "You know what, I think you're better off. He doesn't know what he's missing. Being Ricky isn't so bad."

"Well yeah, you were fake-married to me."

Danny rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I was. Can't say it's much different from the real thing. I'm still the one cleaning up."

Mindy nudged him. "That and you don't get thank-you sex, ya big perv."

Danny chuckled and checked his watch. "It's getting late. I better head out."

"Okay." Danny helped hoist Mindy off the couch, walking over to the door. Mindy stopped him as he opened the door. "Hey, thanks again. I guess it wasn't so horrible being 'married' to you either. Christina doesn't know what she's missing."

Danny half-smirked. "Thanks." He leaned in, giving Mindy a kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight, Lucy."

"Goodnight, Ricky." Mindy closed the door behind him, smiling to herself as collapsed into bed, not wanting to take her costume off.


	11. Placemats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes, got this in before Christmas! And now I can start to work on my secret santa fic exchange :) Hope everyone is having a good holiday season! We'll be through this hiatus soon enough :)

"Danny, where's your screwdriver?" Mindy called out from the kitchen. Danny paused as he closed the doors to the linen closet, placemats in hand. He walked cautiously towards her voice.

"Why do you need a screwdriver?"

Mindy held up a can of cranberry sauce, one side clearly dented from being slammed against a counter.

"Oh, right, of course." Danny rolled his eyes. He grabbed the can from Mindy. "I can't believe you don't know how to use an opener."

Mindy groaned, jumping up onto the counter as Danny tried to work around the bent metal. "Why can't you just buy one of those fancy electric automated ones? You do know the Industrial Revolution happened, right? I mean, you _were_ around for it."

Danny grunted as he forced the lid off the can, holding it up victoriously. "Nothing a little effort can't handle. You know, this country was built off hard work. Where would we be if there were a fancy automated machine for everything?"

Mindy stared dreamily off into the distance. "Probably in big floating chairs, like in Wall-E. Do you think I can buy one online? Wait, nevermind. I couldn't fit it through my door."

Danny shook his head, pulling a list from his pocket. "Alright. My Ma is bringing the lasagna at 12, and your parents are coming at 1. That gives me plenty of time to finish the turkey and make the mashed potatoes, stuffing, and green beans."

Mindy slid off the counter, eyes bright with her latest scheme. "You know I can help you, right babe?"

Danny laughed and pecked her on the cheek as he started to pull out various pots and pans. "That's a good one. I'll be sure to tell everyone tonight, it'll be a hit."

Mindy pouted. "No, Danny, I'm being serious. Let me help!"

Danny set the pot full of water down on the stove and cranked the heat up. He turned around and narrowed his eyes. "What's this really about? Last week you had me check to make sure the Teen Mom marathon was still scheduled for today. You already staked out your spot on the couch – you even have your blanket nest all prepared."

Mindy smiled. "Don't worry, I've got all the episodes Tivo'd." She shrugged. "But really, Danny, I want to make something for dinner. You know, everyone's gathered around, complimenting each other on their various dishes, talking about that new Bruno Mars song…"

Danny's eyes widened in recognition. "Oh, I see. You only wanna help cook so you can get in good with my Ma!" He shook his head. "Min, this is not a good idea. That woman turned down a guest judge role for the Iron Chef."

"Iron Chef? What was she thinking, that's a huge honor! Just imagine all the leftovers she could've brought home," she mused.

"What are you – stop that, you're drooling on the floor," Danny waved a hand in front of Mindy's dazed face as she quickly wiped her lips with the sleeve of her sweater. "Look, I know you wanna impress Ma, but she already likes you." He smirked. "I don't think you'll win her over any more by poisoning her."

"Excuse you, I am _very_ familiar with food. And I recall a certain someone saying my skin was 'smooth like butter' the other night." Danny blushed faintly. "So unless you wanna live the 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter' life, you'll let me help." She kissed him lightly and moved to stand in the middle of the kitchen. "So come on, Emeril. Let's start cooking with oil!"

Danny sighed, accepting his defeat. "You can help with the green beans."

Mindy shook her head quickly, sticking out her tongue. "I don't touch green things. Unless they're emeralds," she smirked.

Danny rolled his eyes. "Do you think you could handle making the mashed potatoes?" Mindy nodded vigorously. "Alright. The potatoes are on the counter. Get to work." He turned towards the turkey, leaving Mindy on her own.

 _Mashed potatoes can't be that hard, right? All you do is_ _ **mash**_ _the_ _ **potatoes**_ _. Just find a recipe on Pinterest and follow the instructions. It's like a chemistry exam. You were great at chemistry!_ Mindy straightened up, confident. _Okay, Lahiri – to Google!_ She quickly pulled up a page with promising pictures.

_Seems simple enough. Peel a couple potatoes, chop em up, mash em. Annette won't know what hit her!_

Mindy grabbed the bag of potatoes off the counter, unsure how many to use.

_Okay, let's think about this logically. I can put away about two baked potatoes for a snack, so multiply that by 5, and – 10 potatoes should be good. Danny's skinny, I'll eat his extra. Right. So, now to peel._

She glanced around the kitchen for a knife. Which should she use? The one with the jagged edges looked like it could be effective. She took one of the potatoes from the bag, rinsing it before she started to saw back and forth across the peel.

"Mindy! What are you doing?!" Danny cried, causing Mindy to jump and drop the knife on the floor.

"Well, there goes my peeling knife! Thanks a lot." Mindy pouted.

"Your 'peeling knife'?" Danny shook his head. He grabbed something small from a drawer, placing it in Mindy's hand. "Here. Try this. Might work a little better."

"Ah, right. This old thing," Mindy nodded, inspecting it closely.

"You don't know what it is, do you?" Even Danny's voice sounded smug. Mindy sighed and faced her boyfriend, shaking her head. "Here, let me show you."

He took the potato from Mindy's hand, the instrument in the other. He whisked the metal piece along the potato, skin flying off it neat little strips.

"Woah! That's so cool!" Mindy watched, mesmerized.

Danny smiled over at her. He was still amazed at how little it took to impress Mindy, and how beautiful she looked every time she found something new to study. He held out the peeler. "Here. You try."

Mindy quickly grabbed the potato back, chipping away at it with vigor.

"Slow down there, killer. Don't wanna take a thumb off. Even, steady strokes. There ya go." He held her hand in his, guiding it with the peeler along the crooks of the potato.

"Look, Danny, I peeled a whole potato!" Mindy jumped with excitement.

"Yep. Only nine more to go." He brushed a piece of hair back behind her shoulder and moved back towards the green beans he was snapping the ends off of. The doorbell rang. "That'll be Ma."

"Danny, honey," Annette entered the apartment all smiles. She held up a dish covered in foil. "Here's the lasagna. You got space in the oven?"

"I'll put it away for ya," Danny took the food. "Have a seat. You want some wine?"

"Pinot Grigio will be fine," Annette replied. She took a seat at the counter, watching as Mindy peeled away. "So, you making the mashed potatoes?"

Mindy nodded. "Yep. Taking on some extra responsibility this year. I've been eating a lot of mashed potatoes, studying up."

"I bet." Annette smirked.

"Hmm?"

"Oh, nothing. That's nice that you're in charge of the potatoes this year. I love how Danny makes 'em, all creamy and buttery." She pinched Danny's cheek as he passed by. "That's my son, the little chef."

"Aw, Ma, you know I learned from the best," he beamed.

Mindy rolled her eyes. "Well, this year we're trying some new flavors. Change can be good."

Annette eyed her warily. "I guess it can." She nodded in thanks as Danny set a glass of wine down in front of her. "So, when are your parents arriving?"

"One o'clock. Still got some time to get everything ready," Mindy added as she finished up the last potato. It was looking like she'd need every minute, too.

Mindy was just starting to chop her collection of potatoes when her dialogue about Martha Stewart's prison cuisine was interrupted by a string of cuss words from Danny.

"Daniel Castellano!" Annette chided, ticking her tongue and shaking her head. "I thought I taught you better than to take out a turkey without pulling out the shelf first."

Danny winced and shook his hand in pain. "Yep, Ma, you did tell me that."

"Here, baby, put this on it," Mindy wet a dish towel, grabbing an ice pack from the freezer and holding it to the burnt spot on Danny's hand. "Better?"

"Yes, thanks," he smiled. "I should live. You finish up the potatoes."

"Okay." Mindy turned back to her task, mentally cursing herself for having been so overeager in her guesstimation of how many potatoes she really needed. If she were truly being honest, however, she knew that she had undershot how many she would eat herself.

After what seemed like centuries, Mindy finally finished chopping and dumped the potatoes into the pot of boiling water on the stove. She set the time to 20 minutes, smiling at the cute little penguin timer she'd bought for Danny.

"See? I can handle it," she said triumphantly, turning to tickle his stomach.

He giggled for a second, quickly gathering himself with a glance at his mother.

"Stop! My Ma is right there!" he whispered.

"Well then, give me something else to do. I think I've proved myself," she emphasized with another spurt of tickles.

"Alright, you can help with the stuffing. I've already prepared everything, you just have to add it to the hot water and butter on the stove. You got that?"

"Trust me, I can handle my bread," she winked. She grabbed the bowl of stuffing off the counter, dumping it into the pot of water. She began to stir.

_This wasn't so bad. She was making the mashed potatoes_ _**and** _ _the stuffing – the two essential carbs of Thanksgiving! She should really be given a medal or something. It takes a lot of concentration to cook everything at once, and she was pretty proud of hers-_

"Mindy!" Danny's voice broke her out of her reverie.

"What? What's wrong?"

"You can't _stir_ stuffing." Danny motioned down towards the newly-formed glob. "You have to fold it in on itself, otherwise it gets all mushy."

Mindy winced. "Mushy like how you get after _Pearl Harbor_?"

He froze. "Those were _not_ tears in my eyes, I just had some dust in there because you never clean your place, and they were two very patriotic men –"

"Uh huh, okay, whatever you say," Mindy played along. She sighed and looked down at the stuffing. "So, what should we do?"

Danny smirked. "Luckily for you, I made extra. Just remember to _fold_ this time, okay? Like this." He gestured. "And only a little bit."

"Okay." Danny kissed her forehead and went to refill his mother's glass. Mindy dumped the first concoction in the trash, filling the pot with water and adding extra butter before carefully folding the new stuffing into the mixture. Afraid to mush too much, she set it off to the side to cool. A little undermixed bread never hurt anyone.

The doorbell rang again.

"Mom, Dad, hi!" Mindy welcomed, giving them each a kiss on the cheek and a hug. "Come on in." She took their jackets from them and led them over to the waiting Annette. "Mom, Dad, you remember Annette, Danny's mom."

"Good to see you again," Annette smiled. "Happy Thanksgiving! What did you bring?"

"Just some simple apple pie," Pooja replied. "Nothing too fancy."

"Well, we appreciate anything," Danny added, dusting his hands on his jeans before reaching out to shake Mindy's father's hand. Mindy had already taken the pie and was nibbling at the crust as she placed it on the countertop. "Ajit, good to see you. Thanks for coming."

"Of course." He nodded and sniffed the air. "Smells good in here."

"Glad to hear it."

Mindy's timer started to beep. She ran back to the stove, quickly shutting it off and dumping the potatoes into a colander Danny had set up for her already. She checked her recipe once more as Danny got Ajit and Pooja their own glasses of wine.

_Use a masher? What is this, the 18_ _th_ _century? We aren't in debt to China so I can manually mash my potatoes!_

She looked up from her phone. "Danny, where's your electric mixer?"

"Underneath the stove."

Mindy opened up the cupboard and gaped. There was no shortage of appliances down there, just waiting to be used. She grabbed one box after the other, looking for those magic words on the label.

"Lost?"

Mindy jumped and frowned at a smug Danny.

"I think this is what you're looking for." He pulled a large white box from the right side. "You know how to use it?"

"Yeah, sure, sure," Mindy nodded confidently. "Just couldn't find it. Don't worry about me – go stir your beans, or whatever."

"Alright," Danny shrugged, trusting her. She'd proven him wrong once today. Maybe she did know how to use an electric mixer.

A squeal and the roar of the machine quickly alerted him that she, in fact, did _not_. Danny rushed over to Mindy, trying to stop her from lifting the mixer out of the bowl and splattering semi-mashed potato everywhere.

"Mindy, turn it off!"

"What?" Mindy could barely hear him over the din. "Danny, it's spinning so fast, I can't control it – " She held the mixer up higher as proof, sending potato flying everywhere and across Danny's cheek.

"Here, let me just – " Danny grabbed the mixer from her, quickly smashing the off button and unplugging it from the wall.

Mindy looked apologetic. "I'm sorry."

Danny wiped a bit of potato off her cheek, sucking it off his thumb. "It's okay." He paused. "Could use some milk, though." Mindy threw the dishtowel at him as she turned to get the milk from the fridge.

"Here, Chef Boyardee, you do it." She watched as he poured out some indeterminate amount of milk into the half-mixed potato pot, blending in little semi-circles that grew larger and larger until he finally reached the edge. He shut the mixer off carefully, tapping it on the side for good measure before turning to his girlfriend.

"There. All done. And without painting my walls in potato in the process." He smirked down at Mindy, taking the pot off the stove and setting it down on a trivet on the counter. "All that's left to do is for me to carve the turkey. Can you set the table?"

"Mhm." Mindy grabbed the placemats from the counter, neatly arranging them on the table before placing the rest of the plates and utensils on top of them. She loved how the table looked so full – more than just their usual two, the red of the mats warming the room. It was cozy – _like family ought to be_ , she thought. Mindy smiled to herself, wandering back into the kitchen to hug Danny from behind.

"Hey, what's this for?"

"Nothing. Just placemats."

"Placemats." Danny knew better than to ask, but smiled nonetheless. He couldn't help it, when she was looking up at him with such love in her eyes. He turned around and brushed his fingers across her cheek. How had he been so lucky? He couldn't imagine the holiday any differently, Mindy's eyelashes splayed across her cheeks as she leaned into him contentedly. He pulled her tighter.

"You two canoodling by the food? That's unsanitary, you know!" Annette's voice called out from the living room.

Chuckling, Danny motioned to the bird in front of him. "I'll be done here in a sec. You wanna round up the troops and sit down at the table?"

"Sounds good." Mindy moved to grab the parents' wine glasses, knowing their owners would follow them into the dining room. Finally, everyone was seated and all the food was out. Mindy took a deep breath and smiled warmly at their guests.

"Thanks for coming, everyone. I'm glad we got to spend this day together, as a family. I know there are other, more exciting events happening like the Teen Mom marathon or – " she stopped in response to a nudge from a certain someone " – or any other number of things, but it really means a lot that we can all eat this delicious meal together that Danny and I worked really hard on. Like, I had to peel _10_ potatoes for this, so these better be some damn good mashed potatoes." Danny nudged her again. "Alright, I'll stop. Annette, do you want to say a prayer?"

Annette smiled, bowing her head and grabbing Danny and Mindy's hands on either side of her. Mindy and Danny exchanged warm glances before lowering their own eyes. "Dear God, thank you for bringing us all together today. Thank you for blessing us with this food, and protecting us from any unintended food poisoning that could arise." Danny had to keep himself from laughing as Mindy glared. "Thank you for family and good food. Amen."

Everyone murmured their amen's and happy Thanksgivings' in reply. Mindy could almost wait to eat – almost – she was so happy. She immediately dug into the mashed potatoes, serving herself a large portion.

"Mindy!" Danny chided.

"Hey, I put in the labor, I reap the reward!" Mindy replied. She scooped up a forkful victoriously. Danny, shaking his head, doled out the rest of the food before serving himself. Mindy watched as he laughed at something his mother said, too hungry to join in herself. Danny seemed pretty pleased, now chatting with Mindy's father about the practice and the latest shenanigans the Deslaurier brothers had been getting into. It was everything Mindy had ever wished for and seen on her TV holiday specials. She speared some turkey for herself, stuffing her face contentedly.

* * *

"Lovely meal," Ajit yawned, leaning back in his chair and patting his stomach. "That'll last me all night."

"Until he sees the chocolate chip cookies at home," Pooja rolled her eyes. "But on that note, we better get going. I'm sure there'll be traffic on the way." Mindy stood up, collecting plates from the table as Danny helped Pooja into her coat.

"It was great having you," he said as he opened the door for the couple. "Thanks again for the pie. I'm sure Mindy will follow in her father's footsteps and finish it off before you hit the interstate." He smirked, Mindy smacking him before giving each of her parents a hug goodbye.

"Thank you for inviting us. Maybe next year we'll have it at our house?" Pooja winked at Mindy, kissing her daughter on the cheek. "Talk to you soon."

"Safe trip home," Mindy and Danny called as Mindy's parents exited. Danny grabbed his mother's coat from the rack as well, Mindy moving to portion some mashed potatoes and lasagna into a couple of Tupperware containers.

"You know, I noticed something," Annette commented, pulling Danny in close.

"Was it the mashed potatoes? I knew I should have told her to put more butter in, that's my fault Ma – "

"No, Danny, stop." Annette paused. "Neither of you may have it figured out on your own, but together, you're good. You help each other. You know what each other needs. You've got a good thing going here, honey. A good thing."

"I know, Ma. I really do." Danny stared at Mindy, laughing to himself as she glanced around and surreptitiously served herself a spoonful of lasagna meant for Annette's container.

"Good boy." Annette patted his cheek. "Now let me go so you two can have some quality alone time. Thank you," she added as Mindy handed her the heavy Tupperware boxes. "Thanks for having me over. It was good to see you, Mindy. I'll call you when I get home. Goodnight." Annette waved as she opened the door, already calling Dot to hear about her own holiday.

Danny closed the door behind his mother and turned to Mindy. "So, we survived our first Thanksgiving together unscathed."

Mindy held up his hand and lightly kissed where it was burnt. "Well, almost."

Danny rolled his eyes. "A battle wound that I would gladly suffer if it meant a nice evening with our parents."

Mindy smirked. "It did go well, didn't it? Did your mom say anything about my mashed potatoes? What'd she think? Does she wanna trade recipes and secret ingredients and stories about your childhood and – "

"Alright, alright, slow down," Danny smoothed his hands down her arms. "She liked the mashed potatoes. Said they had just the right amount of butter."

Mindy beamed. "Yes! My two-point mom-pleasing plan worked! Make good food, eat good food - avoid any future Monster-In-Law scenarios."

"Yeah, yeah, it worked." Danny brushed a piece of hair behind Mindy's ear. "Now we have to clean everything up."

"But I'm so tired," Mindy groaned, feigning collapse.

Danny pulled her over to the counter, reaching into the pot of mashed potatoes and swiping a finger across her cheek. "Whoever said cleanup couldn't be fun?"

Mindy gasped in overdramatic shock but ran her own finger through the mashed potatoes, tagging Danny with it. She squealed as he grabbed her and stared kissing the mashed potato off her cheek, catching his mouth in hers.

The cleanup turned out to be significantly more fun than the prep.


	12. To Catch an Italian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is my secret santa fic for mindiangrowl! I put her prompt at the end so it would be a surprise :)
> 
> I hope she and anyone else reading enjoys! Happy holidays, everyone! :) xoxo

It was the sound of the Taranetella blasting from Mindy’s office that gave it away.

 

Danny burst in, disrupting a dancing Mindy. “Alright, where is it?”

 

Mindy sighed and shut off the recording, popping the CD out and handing it back to Danny. “There, you spoil sport.”

 

“Thanks.” Danny grunted. “Why did you need my Italian American Classics CD anyway? You know Ariana Grande isn’t on here, right?”

 

Mindy lit up. “No, but it’s still my key to winning Paolo’s heart!”

 

“Paolo?”

 

“Yes, Paolo. Like in the Lizzie McGuire movie!”

 

“Who’s he? Your pizza delivery guy?” Danny grinned, proud of his joke.

 

“No, Danny, Paolo is a visiting consultant to the marketing firm downstairs. He’s Italian and so suave and stunning.” Danny scoffed. “That’s why I needed to borrow your CD! I want to know the music of his people, so that when we get married I’ll know what to dance to.”

 

Danny narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. “You don’t even know if this guy is the real deal. He could be Sicilian, for all you know!”

 

Mindy shrugged. “Well then he can make us really good pizza! You know I can’t miss out on a life like that, Danny. Anyway, they say Italians make the best lovers.”

 

“Well, I don’t wanna brag, but – “ Danny grinned wickedly.

 

“Okay, let me just erase that picture from my mind. Danny, the CD?”

 

Danny handed her back the disc. “Whatever. Educate your heart out.” He turned to go.

 

“Wait!”

 

He paused, hand on the door. “Look, you open the cover and put the CD in, then press play. I know you like to say you’re young, but we both know you’ve had plenty of experience with CD players.”

 

Mindy swatted him on the arm. “Of course I know how to play a CD, Danny. Why else would I know all of the lyrics to every NSYNC album?” She waved her hand. “That’s not the point. The point is, why _listen_ to the culture when I’ve got the real deal right here!” She gestured to him.

 

Danny furrowed his brow. “You want me to give you lessons in what, being Italian?” Mindy nodded eagerly. He pondered for a second, standing up a bit and pushing out his chest. “I mean, I wouldn’t want you to disgrace my heritage. It’s a lot more complicated than cannoli and Tony Bennett, you know!”

 

Mindy frowned and nodded in agreement. She looked up hopefully. “So, you’ll do it?”

 

Danny smirked. “Yeah, let’s do it. I’ll show you what it’s really like to be Italian.”

 

“Great!” Mindy beamed. “I’ve already got it all sketched out. Paolo won’t be able to resist falling in love with me after he experiences my four-point man-catching plan,” she added, rubbing her hands together in anticipation.

 

“Oh come on, can’t you just do it the old-fashioned way?”

 

“Nope! You just worry about teaching me to Be Italian, as Fergie says, and I’ll worry about getting the guy.”

* * *

 

**_“Step number one: Throw the most sophisticated, classy holiday party anyone has ever attended.”_ **

****

“Tell me again why you have to have a party? Can’t you just ask him out?”

 

Mindy shook her head as they walked down the aisle in the shop. “Danny, that is not romantic at all. And I want him to feel comfortable! This way, we can get to know each other in a familiar arena.”

 

Danny dragged his hand down his face. “’Arena’. It’s like this is a battle for you or something.”

 

Mindy paused to look at some plates and smirked. “All is fair and love and war.”

 

Danny rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands in his pockets, glancing up at the cheesy piñatas hanging from the ceiling. “So, what are we looking for here?”

 

“Decorations and dinnerware. Do you think spray-painting the champagne flutes red, white and green would be too much?”

 

“Yes.” Danny sighed and scanned the shelves, stopping a little ways away from Mindy. “Here.” He held out two packets of red and green napkins. “You can fold these nicely and get some clear plastic plates. That way, it’s Christmasy, but not cheesy.” He paused. “And we both know you won’t go anywhere near a dishwasher,” he smirked.

 

Mindy plucked the two packages from his hands and dropped them into the basket. “I knew there was a reason I brought you along,” she smiled, patting his cheek.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Danny replied, exasperated, but the slight blush couldn’t hide all. “Let’s go look at decorations.”

 

Mindy sauntered off towards the snowflakes, Danny following behind. He immediately reached out and pulled her hand back from the snow machine. “But –“ He simply shook his head and turned her towards the twinkling lights.

 

“Classy.” Mindy nodded, reminding herself of her goal. She turned to Danny, face alight. “Oh! I can set these up outside too, on the fire escape! Wouldn’t that be a romantic little area for us to sip champagne?” Her eyes took on a dreamy quality. “Then I’ll pretend it’s cold, even though I’ll have on like 3 layers of Spanx, and he’ll pull me in tight to keep me warm, and he’ll look down at me and brush snowflakes off of my outrageously long and full eyelashes and it’ll be the most romantic moment of the entire party.” She sighed.

 

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Danny grunted back. “What else do we still need?”

 

Mindy glanced down into the basket. “We’ve got plastic champagne flutes, plates, napkins, that plastic silverware that looks metal – good catch by the way, twinkle lights…I think that’s about it. I’m getting Morgan to haul the Christmas tree up the stairs to my apartment this afternoon, and I’ve already got enough glitter at home to coat Lady Gaga if I wanted.”

 

“Sounds like we’re set, then.”

 

Mindy nodded. “Yep.” She grinned, turning to Danny as they walked up to the register. “And now for my favorite step – part 2!”

* * *

 

“ ** _Step two: serve the best variety of Italian food so he feels at home.”_**

****

“Oh come on, my chicken parm is better than this!” Danny set his fork down on the table and pushed his seat back.

 

Mindy eyed his half-eaten meal. “So, are you not going to finish that?” She speared the rest of his chicken as he shook his head, going to town while Danny sipped his wine.

 

He looked around at the full dining room, frowning. “You know, if you’re gonna pay this much to eat here, they could at least try and make the food worth it.” He held up a breadstick. “Do you see this? They don’t even have olive oil or balsamic vinegar to dip the bread in!”

 

Mindy grabbed the breadstick from his hand, chewing thoughtfully as she devoured it. “You’re right, it’s just so wrong,” she agreed as she took another one. She finished swallowing and turned to Danny. “So what should I do? I guess I could order pizza for everyone, just make sure to get pepperoni…”

 

Danny waved his hand for the check and shook his head. “No, no. I’ll make the food for the party. I can’t let Italian cuisine be misrepresented like this.”

 

“Aww, thanks Danny!” Mindy smiled, rubbing his knee in appreciation. She grabbed the last breadstick from the basket as Danny held out her coat, ushering her out the door.

 

“So what now?” she asked between bites.

 

“We’re gonna do a little shopping.”

 

Mindy clapped in excitement, following behind as Danny stalked off down the street.

 

* * *

 

 

“Grab that lettuce.” Danny pointed to the produce section as he wheeled the cart down the aisle. Mindy did as told, placing it in the cart along with the stuffed shell noodles, tomato sauce, ricotta, zucchini, and breadcrumbs.

 

“Danny, why are we shopping for a rabbit?”

 

Danny rolled his eyes. “We’re making the antipasta. You’ll like it – you can pick out the lettuce and just eat the meat and cheese.”

 

“You know me so well,” Mindy smiled, grabbing Danny’s arm and leaning into him. Danny glanced down at her, a warmth spreading throughout his chest before Mindy shrieked and he almost ran into a display of Gatorade.

 

“Nice one, Danny!”

 

“Thanks.” He looked away, hoping to hide his red face. “Uh, can you go grab some colored sprinkles for the Struffoli?”

 

“Sure! Oooh, maybe I can get the metallic sparkly ones,” she pondered, turning down the baking aisle. Danny stopped to shake off the warmth in his chest before Mindy returned, six containers of sprinkles in hand.

 

“Min, I really don’t think we’ll need that much.”

 

“And I really think you doubt my love of sprinkles.”

 

Danny just sighed and gestured for her to add them to the cart. “Alright, I think that’s everything.” Mindy nodded, chewing a cookie she’d gotten from the sample section. “The party’s in a week, right? So I’ll bake it the night before and bring it over.”

 

“Sounds good!” Mindy smiled through crumbs. Danny laughed, turning them towards the register.

 

“So,” he sighed, giving in. “What’s the next step?”

* * *

 

**_“Step three: pick out a classy outfit to wear to a classy party.”_ **

****

“Are you taking more selfies? You’ve been in there forever. I’m not getting any younger, you know.”

 

“Oh, I think we both know that.” Mindy called back. “And I have the right to take as many selfies as I want, Danny!” He could hear the swish of fabric as she turned towards the door. “What about this?”

 

Mindy stepped out of the dressing room in a sparkling cocktail dress. Danny was almost blinded by the reflection, a million shards of light dancing on the walls of the clothing store.

 

“Too flashy.” He shielded his eyes, able to hear Mindy pout and sulk back into the dressing room.

 

A few minutes later she stepped back out, dressed in her usual ensemble. She handed six dresses to the attendant.

 

“’This is too flashy’, ‘that’s too sexy’, blah blah blah blah blah. Why don’t _you_ pick out the dress, Danny, if you’re so fashionable?”

 

“Fine, I will,” he replied, smug. Mindy sat down on the couch and checked Instagram while she waited for Danny to return.

 

“Here, try this.” Mindy couldn’t see Danny past the masterpiece he was holding in front of her face. She took it from him, wordlessly carrying it into the dressing room.

 

She emerged a few minutes later, eyes sparkling. “Danny, it’s _perfect_.” She stood in front of the mirrors, admiring her reflection. The dress was mostly white with black trim. It had two straps that crossed but left the back open, and the fabric cut tighter towards the bottom. Mindy smoothed down the edges. “It’s so gorgeous and clean-cut.” She turned around to see how it looked in the back. “And my butt looks pretty damn good too.”

 

“Okay, that’s enough,” Danny waved, walking over to the mirrors. He motioned to the top. “It’s got those straps you always wear outside of work, so I thought you might like that.”

 

“I know! I love it!” Mindy beamed, jumping up and down and clapping her hands.

 

“And you always look good in white.” Danny scratched his head and glanced down at the floor as Mindy smiled back at him in the mirror. “Just, be careful around the tomato sauce, alright?”  


“Thank you, Danny. Really. This is just what I need to host the classiest Italian Christmas party ever.” She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

 

“Yeah, well, I just wanted you to look your best. No red-blooded Italian man could resist you in that dress, Paolo or no Paolo.”

 

Both parties opened their mouths in shock as Danny’s words hung in the air. Danny coughed and shuffled his feet, hiking his thumb over his shoulder. “I’m gonna, um, go make a call while you change. I’ll be outside.”

 

Mindy had to keep herself from laughing as he tripped over his own feet, practically running to the door.

 

After paying and getting the dress boxed up all nice and neat, Mindy met Danny outside. He was fiddling with a loose thread on his leather coat, mumbling something to himself.

 

“Hey,” Mindy greeted him warmly. “You ready for the last step?”

* * *

 

**_“Step four: learn the language of love: Italian.”_ **

****

“Mindy, this is ridiculous. You can’t learn an entire language in four days.”

 

“I don’t need to learn the _entire_ language, Danny, just the important phrases.” She sat down on the couch next to him and brushed her hair out of her face. “I already got Duolingo on my phone and everything. I had to delete my banking app to make room, but no biggie.”

 

Danny almost chastised her but thought better of it, knowing it wouldn’t be worth his time. He grabbed the white board from the table and wrote out a word.

 

“Okay, this is what you say when you greet someone at night. Say it with me: _buonasera_.”

 

“ _Bon-a-ser-a_.”

 

“Almost. Try again, with a little emphasis on the r. _Buonasera_.”

 

“ _Bwon-a-serrrr-a._ ”

 

“Good. Now here’s how you introduce yourself.” He wiped the board clean with his sleeve, writing quickly. “ _Mi chiamo Mindy._ ”

 

Mindy furrowed her brow, concentrating. “ _Mi chiamo Mindy._ _Mee. Keh-yamo Mindy_.”

 

“There you go,” Danny nodded. “Now let’s try a phrase I’m sure you’ll need. _Non parlo Italiano._ It means - ”

 

“Hey!” Mindy punched Danny in the arm. “I _will_ speak Italian. Or at least enough to get by. I’ll keep him distracted otherwise,” she wiggled her eyebrows.

 

“Okay, stop that.” Danny wiped the board off, pinching his nose in thought.

 

“Danny?”

 

“Hmm?” He replied, trying to think of the simplest phrases that even Mindy couldn’t butcher.

 

“How do you say ‘I love you’?”

 

Danny sat up quickly, eyes wide. “Wh – why would you need to know how to say that?” he stammered. “There’s no way you’re gonna say that to the guy after one dinner party, there’s just no way. I won’t let you. It’s irresponsible, is what it is, you can’t just go telling everybody.”

 

“Re _lax_ ,” Mindy rolled her eyes with a tight-lipped smile. “I’m not going to say that to him that _night_. But when I put our beautiful, chestnut-locked, warm-skin-toned children to bed, I want to know how to say it to them.”

 

Mindy watched as Danny began to breathe again, relaxing back into the couch and covering his eyes with his hand.

 

“And besides, I could always just look it up on goog-“

 

“No, stop,” he reached out and grabbed her phone from her, pushing her hands back down into her lap. “You’re just gonna murder it.” He sighed. “Fine. I’ll tell you. _Ti amo._ ”

 

Mindy stared at his lips, memorizing the way they formed the foreign words. “ _Ti amo_ ”.

 

“I love you.”

 

“What?” She snapped her eyes up to his, immediately seeing the fear and confusion there.

 

“That’s what it means. _Ti amo,_ I was just reminding you of what it means, that’s all.”

 

“Okay.” Mindy leaned in, parting her lips slightly. She closed her eyes and…

 

Felt a breeze of air as Danny jumped off the couch and grabbed his jacket.

 

“So, there you go. Now you know everything you need to know to catch Paolo. All four steps are complete.”

 

“Right.” Mindy got up, more following Danny as he backed towards the door rather than walking him there. “So, I’ll see you at the party? It’s at 7 o’clock.”

 

Danny nodded vigorously. Mindy could already see the sheen of sweat coating his brow as he yanked the door open. “See you then. Ciao! That’s, uh, that’s goodbye, in Italian. Or hello. Okay, just text me if you have any more questions. Bye.”

 

Mindy smirked at the now-closed door, laying down on her bed and smiling as she opened Duolingo.

* * *

 

“Hey, Danny! _Benvenuto_!” Mindy opened the door widely. “See! I learned another word without you!”

 

“Yeah, that’s great,” Danny replied, his gaze fixed on the sight before him. “Wow, Min, you look…amazing.” He scratched his chin, half a grin across his face. “That dress is stunning. You’re stunning.”

 

“Why thank you, my little personal stylist,” Mindy beamed, twirling around for him. Her for once simple but elegant earrings twinkled, casting little flecks of light across Mindy’s cheek like an early snowfall. “You wanna come in?” She asked, clearly noting how long Danny had been staring at her.

 

“Yeah, yeah, thanks.” He stepped inside the door, scanning the empty apartment. He pulled his sleeve up to check his watch. “Hey, am I early? I thought you said 7 o’clock.”

 

“Nope. Right on time,” Mindy smiled, taking the stuffed shells and antipasta from him. “These smell great. I’m gonna go set them on the counter. Make yourself at home,” she added, ticking her head towards the couch.

 

Danny followed her directions, sitting down and looking suspiciously around him. The decorations were up. The food was here. So where was the party?

 

“Here you go.” Mindy sat down next to Danny, handing him a beer.

 

“Hey, this is my favorite kind,” he noted, twisting the bottle around to study the label. “How’d you know that?”

 

“I just took note,” Mindy grinned. She took a sip from her champagne flute. She and Danny sat quietly for a minute, both studying the white Christmas tree in all its sparkling glory.

 

Danny cleared his throat. “Soo, uh, Min?”

 

“Mhm?” She answered through another sip.

 

“Where is everyone?”

 

Mindy took a deep breath and turned to him, looking Danny straight in the eyes. “Everyone ishere.”

 

“Uh…what about Paolo? What about your four-point foolproof man-catching plan?”

 

Mindy glanced down quickly before smiling a small little shy grin. “You’re Paolo.”

 

“Come again?” Danny choked on his beer.

 

Mindy gulped down some more of her champagne. “There is no Paolo. You’re Paolo. Do you get it?”

 

Danny tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. “No, not really.”

 

Mindy grabbed him and kissed him. Danny froze at first, then quickly reacted to the lips searching his. He could taste the champagne and a faint hint of stuffed shells – how had she gotten to them already? – as he grabbed her face and pulled her closer to him. He ran his thumbs across her cheeks, reveling in how smooth her skin was, inhaling her scent. She was wearing that perfume he loved so much, the one that smelled like flowers with just a hint of citrus. He moved to the opposite side, trying to angle the kiss even deeper. Mindy responded in kind, running her fingers through his hair and tugging a bit. Danny couldn’t help but smirk, causing Mindy to pull back. They both breathed heavily, Mindy almost laying on top of Danny now.

 

“So,” he stated, finally able to produce words. “I’m Paolo.”

 

Mindy nodded vigorously. “You’re Paolo.”

 

Danny gestured to the empty apartment. “And all of this was for me. I’m the lucky victim of your four-point foolproof man-catching plan?”

 

“Well, technically it’s a five-point foolproof man-catching plan. I did have to convince you it was all for someone else, after all,” Mindy grinned. “But it worked.” She paused, face falling with fear. “Right? It worked?”

 

Mindy got her answer in the form of another kiss.

 

“Mmm, Danny,” she gasped for air, “I forgot!”

 

Danny pulled her back down, managing to keep her there for a few more seconds until she could muster up the motivation to stop again. Mindy slowly kissed the corners of Danny’s mouth, placing one last kiss on his lips before pulling back just enough to look him in the eyes. “Ti amo.”

 

Danny’s face broke out into a grin, his smile reaching from cheek to cheek. Mindy could visibly see him gulp, taking in her face before asking “Tu mi ami?”

 

“Si, ti amo.” Mindy grinned right back, watching Danny’s eyes dance in the soft twinkle of the lights. She scrunched her nose up for a second. “If what you were asking is if I love you. Then, yes. I love you.”

 

Mindy could barely get the words out before Danny was crushing her in another kiss, pulling back every few seconds to whisper “Ti ami” in her ear. She giggled, burying herself in the crook of Danny’s neck and inhaling his Danny Smell, a stupid grin permanently plastered on her face.

 

Tired out from all the foreign relations, they rested together on the couch. Mindy laid across Danny’s chest, listening to his slowing heartbeat. “Mmm, I should try to welcome Italian visiting consultants more often,” she teased, running her fingers up and down Danny’s arm.

 

“Don’t you dare,” Danny grumbled. “’Paolo?” He tsked. “What kind of name is that? He probably couldn’t even make his own sauce.”

 

“That’s right baby, you tell him,” Mindy chuckled. “Next time, I’ll try to think of something more Italian. Ooh, what about Lucca? Or Enzo? He’s on Vampire Diaries, so that’s a pretty authentic name…”

 

Danny shut her up by proving just how good of an Italian lover he could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mindiangrowl's prompt:
> 
> "What if Mindy's fool proof four point man trapping plan in CPST was made for Danny, an AU with fluff angst smut whatever and wherever your mind takes you, can include them spending Christmas together as a result of the plan succeeding."
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you liked the story! Thanks for readin :)


	13. They Slip'd

“To 2015!”

 

Mindy slammed the shot glass down on the bar, relishing in how the liquid burned her throat. She threw a hand in the air. “Another round, let’s go!”

 

“Mindy,” Maggie laughed, “slow down! We have the rest of the night to get crazy! I, for one, think we have already proven that we are the most badass ladies in this joint.”

 

Mindy sighed and sipped from her glass of water. They were sitting at the bar at the back of the room, livening up what was an otherwise dead office party. The entire building was in attendance, but each company was sticking to itself. If there was one thing Mindy loved, it was mingling. And this party was severely lacking in that department.

 

“I know, Maggie, but this party is so lame. There aren’t any Cirque du Soleil performers, the booze is all naturally colored, and I’m taking the lack of sparkly decor as a personal offense.”

 

Maggie nodded sympathetically, then laughed. “You know what would make things exciting? If people had partners for their midnight kiss, like that episode of _Friends_.”

 

Mindy turned to her friend, eyes widening. “Oh. My. God. Maggie, you’re a genius! The office drama _has_ been lacking as of late. I mean, the most exciting thing that happened this week was Danny catching Beverly stealing all the coffee filters from the break room. I’m pretty sure he’s still got a bruise on his shin from that interaction, but that’s about it.”

 

Maggie scanned the room. “Yeah, well, I wouldn’t mind puckering up to a few of the fellas in here.” She leaned in close. “You know, I think Jeremy’s starting to warm up to me. He actually _handed_ me a cookie instead of just tossing it!”

 

“Yeah, that’s some great progress you’ve made,” Mindy replied, patting Maggie’s arm distractedly. She sat up straight. “There’s an even number of people here. This could totally work, Maggie!”

 

“I was just joking,“ Maggie started to object, but Mindy had already started scheming.

 

“Do you think people would be against me _assigning_ them a partner? Lesbihonest, I know who should and should not swap saliva.”

 

“Mindy!” Maggie raised her voice, causing the rest of the party to shoot the pair a dirty look. “Oh, get over it. A leaf falling would be a racket in this place.” Maggie rolled her eyes, turning back to Mindy. “Mindy. Come on. Let’s be real. This is a ridiculous idea. You can’t just _force_ people to kiss each other. We talked about this after your Sims binge, remember?”

 

“I know, you’re right.” Mindy frowned. “Look, I’m gonna be honest with you.” She turned to her friend and took a deep breath. “I wanna kiss Danny at midnight. This isn’t just about having some fun with these boring rascals,” she admitted. “I don’t know how to approach him. If I ask Danny on a date, he’ll just laugh at me. But if we make out first and he gets the chance to appreciate my time-tested, guy-approved tonguing technique, then there’s no way he won’t see me in a whole new light!” Mindy grabbed Maggie’s hands. “Will you _please_ help me?”

 

Maggie smiled begrudgingly and nodded. “You know I’ve got your pervy back.” She assessed the crowd. “So, how are we gonna convince a room full of professionals to kiss each other?”

 

Mindy smirked. “Don’t you worry, my friend. You don’t know these weirdos like I do.” She stood up on her chair with Maggie anchoring her down by her heels. “Hey! Everybody!” No one turned. She took deep breath. “BONUS CHECKS!”

 

All conversations stopped immediately as everyone turned towards Mindy. “Sorry, there isn’t any extra money. Oh, quiet, like there would be in this economy,” she hushed the annoyed grumblers. She addressed the room. “So, we’ve got about an hour to midnight. And I don’t know about you, but _I_ wanna ring in the New Year with a steamin’ hot kiss.” The crowd began to murmur appreciatively. Beverly eyed a young waiter as Betsy bore a hole into Jeremy with her stare. “Now I know that not everyone came with a date, but that doesn’t mean we can’t all have our magic midnight makeout.” Mindy leaned over and grabbed a plastic hat off the bar. “We’ll put all our names in here and draw someone else. Then that’s who we’ll kiss at midnight!” The crowd began to rumble, people discussing the insanity and excitement of it all.

 

“Oh come on!” Mindy shouted over the din. “Don’t pretend like there isn’t someone you wanna kiss here!” Mindy pointed a finger into the group. “Besty, this could be your chance to get with you-know-who.” Betsy gasped and reddened, gulping down her drink. “Peter, anything is better than a Christmas tree.” Peter nodded begrudgingly, elbowing one of his buddies.

 

“Look,” Mindy sighed. “If you don’t wanna do it, don’t put your name in the hat. Okay? But why not start the New Year off great? You never know, this could be your meet-cute!”

 

“Your what?” A voice called out from the crowd.

 

“Watch a rom-com!” Mindy replied, shaking her head. “I’m gonna leave the hat on the bar and if you wanna participate, you can come and put in a slip of paper with your name on it. Once everybody’s in, I’ll walk around and everyone can draw.” Mindy placed the hat on the bar. “Okay, go!”

 

No one moved. Mindy sighed, digging in her purse for a prescription pad. She scribbled her name across the paper before folding it and dropping it into the hat. “See? First one’s done. Maggie and I’ll even walk around so we don’t know who’s entering. We’ll be back in five minutes!” Mindy grabbed Maggie’s arm, pulling her off to the side and crouching down.

 

“Okay, here’s the plan,” she whispered. “We have to make sure Danny enters. One of us needs to hold onto his slip so I can just-so-happen to draw his name, okay? I sprayed my prescription pad with my perfume, a la Elle Woods. That way, we can pick mine out too and protect me from having any whackos from the third floor coming at me, tongues bared.”

 

Maggie nodded thoughtfully. “But doesn’t that mean everyone else will be all mixed up? For example, I could get Jeremy, but he could get Peter. And how do gay couples fit into all this?“

 

“Okay, it might not have been the best plan,” Mindy allowed. “But the important part is I’m going to kiss Danny at midnight. Everyone else can just figure out their own matchmaking! Who am I anyways, Jerry Springer?” Mindy scoffed. “Come on, let’s starting making the rounds.”

 

Mindy and Maggie stood up, breaking apart to move in opposite directions around the room. They worked their way through the crowd, persuading people to enter. It didn’t take much to get Peter to agree to participate – he and his frat buddies had no qualms about kissing strangers. Betsy was a bit harder to convince. Once Mindy said that friends did fun things like this together, though, and wouldn’t this be great to gossip about later, Betsy was racing towards the bar to put her own slip in.

 

Mindy glanced across the room and saw Maggie heading for Danny. They smiled at each other briefly and nodded, Mindy stopping to talk to some brokers who worked in the building so she could keep an eye on the mission.

 

Maggie sidled up to Danny. “So, Dan the man, how’s it goin’?”

 

Danny rolled his eyes and took a sip of his beer. “I’m not signing up for your little lottery.”

 

Maggie nudged him, sending Danny a bit off balance. “Oh, it’s all for fun. It would be a crime to keep those plump Italian lips from a lonely lover on New Year’s Eve, don’tcha think?”

 

Danny smirked, shrugging his shoulders. “I mean, I’ve gotten compliments before,” he smiled.

 

“Well, duh.” Maggie motioned over towards Jeremy. “And you don’t want to have to listen to himbrag about this _all_ next year, do you?” She sighed. “I mean, just lookat that face. That stubble, those glutes-“ Danny coughed aggressively, giving her a look. “You okay there?” Maggie patted him on the back. “I mean, whoever gets him is gonna be so lucky.”

 

“Not everyone is into that tall, dark, and handsome look,” Danny frowned. He gulped down some more of his beer, his eyes flickering over to Mindy and watching as she fake laughed at something one of the brokers said.

 

Maggie followed his gaze, leaning in close. “Are you really telling me there’s not _one person_ you want to kiss in this room? Say, someone like…Mindy?”

 

Danny choked on his beer, coughing up a storm. Maggie smacked him on the back and smirked. “I, uh…I…”

 

Maggie ticked her head over towards the bar. “Isn’t just the _chance_ of it happening worth it?”

 

Danny looked down at his shoes. Maggie smiled, handing him an old receipt and a pen she snagged from a woman’s purse nearby. “All you gotta do is write one simple word.” She winked at him before giving him one last nudge, moving over to where Mindy was providing a detailed synopsis of _The Wolf of Wall Street_.

 

“Sorry, gotta go cuz y’all are probably really boring,” Maggie interrupted, pulling her friend away from the brokers. She stopped next to the buffet. “Alright, it’s done.” She smiled. “Danny’s gonna go put his name in the hat.”

 

Mindy paused mid-chicken wing. “Wait, what? Don’t you have his slip of paper?”

 

Maggie froze. “You know, I didn’t think this all through…”

 

“Maggie!” Mindy pushed through the brokers, running to the hat. But she was too late.

 

“Let’s get the kissing started!” Morgan cheered, grabbing the hat full of paper slips off the bar. He started passing it around, looking at who everyone drew.

 

“Hey, I got myself,” Peter held up his piece of paper. “Can I switch? Not that I’ve ever had trouble self-servicing,” He smirked. His frat buddies high fived him as Mindy and Maggie gagged.

 

Morgan held out the hat towards the two women. Maggie drew first, opening her slip and shrugging. “Eh, I got Duncan. He’s a little cutie.”

 

“That’s who _I_ wanted!” Morgan pouted. Maggie shrugged, winking at Duncan across the room. He glanced around before realizing her gesture was directed at him, laughing nervously as he accidentally backed into a wall. Maggie cackled and poked Mindy. “Your turn. Get a good one!”

 

Mindy held her breath as she picked out her own slip of paper. _Betsy_.

 

“Who’d you get, Dr. L?”

 

She threw the slip back in the hat, grabbing it from Morgan. “Myself! Lemme pick again!” She drew out another slip, this time Tamra’s. She put it back in the bowl again, mixing them up frantically. She looked up at Morgan. “You know, Morgan, you’ve done such a great job so far, let me take it from here. I’ve been practicing my Vanna White presentation style and I really think this event could use it.”

 

“Okay, Dr. L. Whatever you say. I’ve gotta go find someone with chapstick to lube these babies up. You don’t have that long-lasting pink lipstick you usually wear, do you? I want to have silky smooth but colorful smackers for my partner.” Mindy shook her head, watching as Morgan puckered his lips and wandered into the crowd in search of a friendly soul.

 

Mindy grabbed Maggie and pulled her away from the noise of the party. “Help me find Danny’s slip!”

 

They dug through the hat, pulling out paper after paper in search of _the_ one.

 

“Ew!” Mindy shook a damp slip off of her finger.

 

“Danny’s?” Maggie looked hopeful.

 

“No.” Mindy frowned. “Morgan also has an affinity for sweating.” She held up the empty hat and sighed. “No Danny. Which means someone else already picked him.”

 

Maggie patted her on the back. “Oh, honey, maybe you can just kiss him after his partner does?” Mindy glared. “Okay, maybe not. So what are you gonna do?”

 

Mindy pulled out her phone. “It’s 11:42. That means I have eighteen minutes to find Danny’s slip.”

 

“And what should we do with the rest?”

 

“Ugh, who cares, at least half the people got a partner.” Maggie gave Mindy a look. “Fine, whatever. You pass out the rest of the slips and I’ll find Danny’s. Okay?”

 

“Aye aye, captain.” Maggie saluted her. “Now go!”

 

Mindy made a beeline for Peter, who was trying to play beer pong with one of the little plastic disco ball decorations.

 

“Peter, I need to talk to you!”

 

He held up a finger, tossing the ball into a champagne flute before bumping chests with his buddies. He turned to Mindy, giving her a side hug. “What up, babe? Great idea with the hat thing, by the way. None of the chicks in here are biting tonight. And I don’t mean in the good way,” he laughed and fist-bumped his friends.

 

Mindy held up her slip of paper. “Who do you have?”

 

“Kelly, from the modeling agency downstairs!” Peter pumped his fist. “Seriously, could not have had better luck. I hope she’s DTF on NYE, cuz I like to start off the new year with a _bang_.”

 

“Gross.” Mindy pulled Peter in close, glancing around. “Look, I’m proposing a trade. I’ve got Beverly. You give me your slip, and I’ll take over three of your overnight shifts next week.”

 

Peter scoffed. “No way! This chick is caliente. Like, Sriracha-hot.”

 

Mindy punched him. “Hey! I thought we’d agreed that that scale was reserved for me and me only!”

 

Peter sighed. “Fine, she’s two-peppers-on-the-menu hot. Better?” Mindy nodded. “I’m still not switching with you.”

 

Mindy groaned. “What else do you want? I can throw in some of my fancy bath bombs?”

 

Peter thought about it for a minute. “Fine – but the ones that smell like a meadow! Plus three shifts, _and_ your morning bagel tomorrow!”

 

Mindy gasped in horror. “Not my blueberry cinnamon!” Peter nodded, one eyebrow raised, pleased with himself.

 

Mindy whimpered and weighed her options. After a minute of deliberation, she eventually groaned and handed over the slip. “Fine. Deal.”

 

“Score!” Peter cheered and chest-bumped his two friends again. “It’s been nice doing business with you.” He paused. “You don’t think there’s a chance Beverly will drink so much she’ll pass out before midnight, do you?”

 

Mindy shook her head and touched his arm comfortingly. “No, that woman can hold her liquor. Good luck!” She called as she dashed away, ignoring the groans behind her. Mindy moved back towards the bar and checked her phone. _11:47._ Time to kick the search into high gear.

 

She was pondering the possibility of saying there was anthrax in the hat (and therefore having everyone turn their papers in) when a slip with the letter “D” on it caught her eye as it fluttered to the floor. She rushed over to it, stopping in front of the door to the kitchen to pick it up.

 

Just as she was flipping the slip of paper over, a waiter carrying a tray full of champagne glasses opened the door, crashing into a bent over Mindy. The platter crashed to the floor, glass flying everywhere as Mindy stood up in indignation.

 

“Um, excuse you!”

 

“Excuse _me_?!”

 

“Yes! You think you can just ‘pretend’ to not see me and land on my butt? Oh, I’ve seen it all before, pal, you’re not the first one.”

 

“This is the door to the kitchen! It’s off limits to party guests!”

 

Mindy held up the slip defiantly. “Yeah, well, there are more important things than your stupid rules.” She unfolded the slip of paper excitedly, breath already baited to shove it in the waiter’s face. _Diane Smith_.

 

“Dammit!” Mindy stomped her foot. “Why is this so difficult? I need a drink.” The waiter glared at her from where he was cleaning up the broken glass. “Oh, get over it. We all know you just walk around with the drinks, judging people.” Mindy lit up, an idea beginning to form. “Twenty bucks and you give me that tray?” He shrugged, handing her the platter before discreetly placing the bill in his pocket and walking away, kicking the broken glass off to the side.

 

“Alright, I can do this,” Mindy coached herself a few minutes later. “I used to wait tables back in high school.” The bar attendant gave her a skeptical look. “Which was only four years ago, thank you very much!” Mindy glared at him, squaring her shoulders as she prepared to lift the tray that now carried five champagne flutes on top. She moved the platter ever-so slowly off the counter, almost toppling the entire batch when she jumped a little in victory.

 

Taking deep breaths, she started to walk over towards a small group of people holding slips of paper. “Champagne, anyone?” She used the tray to maneuver herself into the middle of the group for prime sleuthing.

 

“Uh, ma’am, could you stop moving around so much?” One of the women asked. She kept snatching at the glasses, which were jumping back and forth as Mindy tried to get a better vantage point.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you so upper-class that you have to be handed your own drink?” Mindy glared, slamming a flute down on a nearby table. “There! Maybe read a Buzzfeed article or two and learn something about privilege.” She left the group stunned and speechless, moving on to another section of the room.

 

“Champagne?” Mindy held the tray out to a group of well-dressed men. The four of them grabbed the rest of the drinks, toasting before sipping the bubbly liquid. The one closest to Mindy turned to her.

 

“So, what’s your name? I saw you standing on the chair, starting this whole midnight-kiss thing.” He gestured around the room, grinning. “I’m Nate, with the modeling agency downstairs.” Mindy could almost melt under his gaze. But she caught a sweaty Italian arguing with Beverly out of the corner of her eye, refocusing her attention solely on her mission.

 

“I’m Mindy.” She started checking out each guy, searching for a slip of paper.

 

Nate laughed, his perfect smile blinding. “Oh, Mindy? I think you might be the one that I kiss!”

 

“Not anymore,” Mindy replied, snatching the slip of paper out of his hand before moving further into the crowd. If all else failed, maybe she could just _stuff_ the paper into Danny’s hand and he would go along with it.

 

She tossed the now-empty tray onto a couch, pulling her phone out of her pocket. _11:58_. How was she going to find Danny’s slip in _two_ minutes?

 

 _Screw it. I_ will _have my Meg Ryan moment, dammit!_

 

Mindy started to snatch people’s slips from their open hands, searching desperately for that one name. She waved off their loud objections, tossing useless pieces of paper over her shoulder as she made her way through the crowd.

 

_10! 9! 8!_

 

Everyone started to cheer as the ball on the screen began to descend.

 

_7! 6! 5!_

 

“Cliff, Stephanie, Max, no, no, no!”

 

_4! 3! 2! 1!_

The entire room erupted in noise, confetti flying everywhere and mixing with the slips of paper as Mindy tried to sort through the pile in her hand. _How could it not be here?_ Mindy groaned, fists full of names that didn’t matter one bit.

 

She bumped into someone, pushing her hair out of her face. “Sorry. Happy New Year –“ she stopped, looking up at Danny. He cradled his own collection of papers to his chest, looking back and forth between Mindy’s slip-filled hands and her look of surprise. “Danny?”

 

“I – I couldn’t find your name,” he stammered, shocked to be caught.

 

“Me either,” Mindy beamed, dropping her handfuls. She threw herself into Danny’s arms, forcing him to scatter his own bundle across the floor. Their lips met. Danny froze at first, surprised by the sudden contact, but quickly reacted to the lips plucking at his, his arms circling Mindy and clutching her to him as their kiss mirrored the electricity of the room. They explored one another, the chorus of “Happy New Year”’s creating their own celebratory bubble.

 

Mindy pulled back and smiled, confetti mixed in her hair. “Hey.”

 

“Hey,” Danny replied, breathless. “Happy New Year.”

 

“Happy New Year,” Mindy beamed. She picked confetti and slips of paper out of Danny’s collar. “You know what this means, right?”

 

“What?”

 

“You were my midnight partner after all! My crazy ideas do work!”

 

“Sure, we’ll go with that.” Danny moved to kiss Mindy again, rubbing his hands up and down her sides.

 

They were interrupted by Peter shouting and running away from Beverly, who was cackling as she wiped off her lips and chugged the rest of her whiskey.

 

Mindy shrugged and watched as Peter frantically searched for hand sanitizer. “I guess my plan was a little flawed.”

 

Danny smirked, arms still around her. “Yeah, they tend to be.”

 

“Hey!” Mindy smacked him. “It all worked out in the end.”

 

“Yeah, but I had to take three of Peter’s overnight shifts next week-“

 

“He got out of all of them?! That sneaky bastard.”

 

“What?”

 

“Nevermind. Go on, tell me about your undying dedication to find my name.”

 

Danny rolled his eyes. “And someone stepped on my head when I was on the ground trying to pick up some dropped slips…I even promised to buy Beverly some of that ‘fancy spray-deodorant’, just so she would give me my own paper back!” Mindy and Danny shuddered together. He looked down at her and rubbed her cheek with the back of his hand, half-grinning. “But it was worth it.”

 

“Yes, it was.” Mindy smiled, leaning in to rest her head underneath Danny’s. They both looked up at the TV screen, watching as the crowds cheered for the new beginnings of 2015.

 

“Happy New Year, Danny.” Mindy repeated, rubbing circles into his back.

 

“Happy New Year, Min.” Danny pulled her to face him again, weaving his hands through her hair and kissing her as the sounds of Auld Lang Syne began playing in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my last holiday and therefore last chapter for this series! I can't believe I've written a one-shot for literally every holiday. Lordy. Thanks for reading! I hope everyone has a strong 2015! xoxo 
> 
> Happy Holidays!!
> 
> (edit: Sorry, could not resist the title given the story matter).


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